Page 49 of Damaged Enemy Next Door

CHAPTER 24

ADRIAN

Isitinthekitchen, alone in the early hours, sipping coffee and grappling with the emotions swirling inside me. I never expected things to turn out this way - to feel like I failed Olivia.

I take another sip of coffee and try to will away thoughts of what could have been. But no matter how hard I try; I can't seem to shake off the sense of guilt that settles over me like a heavy blanket - guilt for not being a stronger man. When she desires me but can't be with me, I should maintain the distance needed for both of us. I know how difficult it was to leave my office after our encounter.

The sound of footsteps breaks my train of thought, and I look up to see my daughter Emily standing in the doorway grinning from ear to ear. “Good morning, Daddy! Can I have breakfast?”

I chuckle and nod, shifting out of my chair and heading for the stove. “Of course, you can, sweetheart. What would you like?” With my back turned away from her, I begin cooking her breakfast and listen as she eagerly rattles off a list of items – eggs, bacon, potatoes … She is so carefree and happy today that it's hard not to smile with her.

But then something unexpected happens - out of the blue she asks me a question that brings all my previous worries flooding back into my mind. “When can I see Olivia again? We still have to finish the puzzle we started together.”

Her voice trails off as if expecting an immediate answer. But what can I say? The truth is that while I don't know when they'll be able to finish their puzzle or even if they will ever have a chance at all - hopefully soon - the only thing I know for sure is that our situation is very precarious as we speak.

"Sorry, baby, I’m very busy right now," I say, picking up my phone and pretending to respond to a message from work. The truth is, how do I explain such a complex situation to a young child?

"Doing what?" she huffs.

My heart longs for Olivia, wondering what she must be doing at this very moment - working, eating, or even just going about her day like nothing ever happened. I miss her so much that it physically hurts. I know she is busy with work and other things in life and maybe - just maybe - she's not lying when she says she doesn't know what could have been between us if only…

If only what? If I had never tried to buy her father's land? How could I have known?

I’m pulled out of my thoughts when I see my phone ringing. Olivia?

Suddenly, the absurdity of the situation hits me, and I now begin to feel angry. I cut the call. She calls again. I silence it. But five minutes later, my anger calms down and I realize I want to talk to her.

"Daddy?" asks Emily and I realize I haven't been listening.

"So sorry, honey," I say. "I'll talk with you over dinner tonight, okay? Now go get dressed for school."

After dropping Emily at school, I drive to the office, hoping that the day's work will help me clear my head but now, my emotions are all over the place to the point where all I can focus on is how angry I feel ... at our situation, and at Olivia's father.

I wonder, should I call her back now? Later? To think that all this happened just because of one business deal gone wrong! It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong; it was how everyone did business - why couldn't David understand that? And now when the situation is delicate and far from easy to solve, she's decided to leave me and look for another job or find her way in another posting?

Shouldn't we both be trying to find a solution together? It feels as though the entire burden has been placed upon my shoulders and I am starting to feel helpless. How can I make this right when Olivia herself is not willing to do her part?

I don't have an answer and it leaves me feeling angry and frustrated, but also hurt.

Fine. She wants me to handle this alone? I'll handle it. She wants to run. She can run.

I take out my phone and dial her number. When she picks up, I don't bother with pleasantries - I'm too angry for that.

"Olivia, I saw your missed calls. I’m driving to work right now. Best we talk in person," I demand firmly. "Can you come see me in my office if you’re already there?”

“Where have you been?” she asks. “I’ve been trying to call you.”

“You could have just e-mailed me. Is everything okay?” I ask. “What’s up?” Fine. She wants me to find the solution and leave me in the lurch, then I too don’t have to be any more than professional with her. I know I’m acting immature; I can find myself getting disappointed with how I respond to her, but it’s a strange defense mechanism that has kicked into place.

She doesn’t respond. I begin to get worried, even though I don’t want to. “Olivia?” I ask, a slight tinge of impatience evident in my voice. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” she says, in that same flat monotone. “I’ll talk to you when you reach the office.”

Fine. She wants to cold shoulder me? Two can play this game. “Sure, whatever you want,” I say, and I instantly hang up the phone and continue driving to work, burning with all the emotions that have been locked away inside me since the moment Olivia left me to find a solution alone.

When I enter the office, Olivia is already there. She looks pale and fragile as though she's been waiting for hours, worrying about what might come next. But when she sees me, her wide eyes soften - so much so that any anger I had in me just melts away and all that lingers remains is an aching tenderness in my heart.

I don't know how long we stand there looking at each other. With each passing moment, my anger dissipates, and I remember why I shouldn't blame her. If this is difficult for me, it's harder for her. She shouldn't have to choose between her father and me and while I sort that out, she shouldn't be made to suffer.

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