Page 35 of A Kingdom This Cursed and Empty

“Whatwouldit take?” I asked, curious despite myself.

“Given your wicked temper, I think I’ll keep that information to myself, wildcat.” His mouth curved, and I hated how much I enjoyed the sight.

Lorian slathered the salve on my wound, his hands achingly gentle. A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You’ll never do anything like that again.”

I ignored that. I was too busy lost in the scent of the brackweed and the memory of the last time I’d used this salve—when I’d first decided to stay with the mercenaries. Rythos had insisted on cooking for me that night.

“Prisca.”

I ignored that too. “Turn around.”

He gave me a look that promised we’d be having this conversation later, but he turned.

I examined his pointed ear. It was so differentfrom mine, and yet something about it made me want to touch.

Shaking those thoughts from my head, I got to work using my knife to cut away his shirt.

Lorian didn’t so much as grunt when I snapped the shaft of the arrows and pushed them through his back until they came through his chest. I had to lean my head down twice when my vision speckled, but he just waited me out.

“It’s all right,” he eventually told me when I raised my head the second time. “I promise.”

“I should be the one saying that to you,” I muttered, getting back to work.

I wouldnotbe distracted by all that lean muscle and smooth skin. I refused.

Perhaps talking would be a better distraction. “If you can’t use your power, how come you’re in your fae form?”

“This is my natural form. It takes power to use a human glamour.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “When you pushed me off that horse, it was one of the worst moments of my life. All I could think about was how you were alone, hurt, and unable to access your power.”

I raised my gaze from the wound I was cleaning. “Lorian…”

He turned his attention to the flames. But it was my turn to be irritated. “Why didn’t you kill them all when you first noticed them following us? I saw what you did at the city gates. You didn’t need to be hurt this badly.”

“I’m powerful, but I’ll never be quite as powerful as I was in that moment when all my power returned to me in a rush. Besides, we needed one of them alive.”

And yet he’d killed him instead of torturing him for that information. Was it because I’d been watching?

“But you could have killed some of them at least.”

His eyes met mine, and this time, they were lit with a predatory light. “You would have tolerated that, would you, wildcat?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve only just begun to let me near you again. Forgive me if I wasn’t willing to watch you look at me like I was a monster once more.”

“This is about the city gates?”

He caught my chin with his fingers. He was so close, I could see the silver flecks in his eyes. Close enough that my body instinctively responded, my stomach fluttering.

“This is about all of it. What would have happened if you’d found out I was fae in that castle, wildcat? You’ve been raised to fear my people. To hate us. And even though you were learning that everything you thought you knew was wrong, you were still holding on to that last piece. You and I both know that you would never have trusted me with the hybrids. Instead, you would have attempted to do it alone. And without my help, you wouldn’t have gotten those hybrids free.”

My gut twisted. “Because I was busy finding your fucking amulet.”

His fingers tightened warningly. “If I hadn’t been the very creature you’ve been taught to loathe, the king would have slaughtered all of us that night. Your precious hybrids would have burned. And you would have burned with them. So yes, I hid my secret for my people. And because I didn’t want to see the terror in your eyes when you looked at me. But I also did itforyou.”

I gazed up at him silently, processing everything he’d just told me. He was right. I could admit that much to myself.

He must’ve thought I was going to deny him again, because he released my chin with a shake of his head. “I’m not stupid. I’m not someone you would have chosen to be with. I’m someone you were intrigued by and attracted to despite yourself. I’ll never be safe, Prisca. I’ll always be the monster who slaughters anyone who attempts to hurt you. I don’t know how to be anything else. My mistake was attempting to shield you from the sight of that monster.”

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