Page 166 of A Kingdom This Cursed and Empty

“No, listen. I should never have blamed you. I lived a life where I ignored the worst around me, because I knew I would benefit from the best of it.”

“You’re a good man, Thol. I always admired the way you looked after the people who were struggling. You hunted for them, you helped them when you could—”

“To soothe my conscience. I recognized you in that castle, you know. I told myself I didn’t. You looked so different—you even carried yourself differently. But I’d memorized your face by the time I was sixteen winters.”

My chest clenched. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because in my heart, I was a coward. I knew why you were there. The moment they took Asinia, you would have done whatever it took to free her. I couldn’t tell my father or the king you were there, but I couldn’t help you either. I would have lived my life like that. Sitting on the fence. Never making a decision. Too cowardly to make a choice against one side or the other. If I’d joined you that day, I could have gotten Chista out.”

Heat seared the backs of my eyes. “She wouldn’t have left, Thol.”

“I would have dragged her out of that village kicking and screaming.” His voice cracked, and he ran a hand over his face. “That was my job as her brother. And she’d still be alive.”

“You can’t think like that. You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

“My father knew about your people. I learned they weren’t reallycorruptafter the ball. He’d overheard one of the king’s patriarchs talking. I knew you were victims, and I would have done nothing.”

My heart thundered in my ears. “Do you want me to hate you?” I managed to get out. “Is that it?”

He shoved a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I want. Maybe it’s for you to stop looking at me with pity and understanding in your eyes when I was planning your murder not all that long ago.”

I flinched. Lorian was instantly there. “Enough,” he rumbled.

Thol didn’t argue. He just slung his pack over his shoulders and followed Cavis into the next cave.

I watched him go. I’d thought I loved him once. I hadn’t even known what love was. I’d thought if I could just pretend to be normal, if I could just find a way to hide who I was, we could have a safe, happy life together.

“Wildcat?”

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m all right.” I glanced at Demos. “Do we know where we’re going now?”

He nodded.

“Then let’s keep moving.”

* * *

On the evening of the third day navigating the caves, a pounding headache took up residence at the base of my skull. I glanced at Cavis, who nodded back at me. He felt it too.

The hybrids began to slow their pace. “What’s happening?” Demos muttered. “Feels like I’m back in that dungeon.”

“Fae iron,” I said. “Regner has had it melded into the walls. Perhaps hidden beneath our feet.”

Prisca sent Cavis and me a concerned look. “Do you both feel all right?”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We’re grumpy and tired. Our power will be weakened—perhaps significantly if the search takes much longer. Since hybrids are half-human, it will take longer to impact you, but you’ll begin feeling symptoms, and when you reach for your power, it won’t work as well. Eventually, it may temporarily drain until you don’t have anything left. I’ll get you out of here before that happens.”

“No, you won’t,” Prisca said. “I remember how awful it felt when that arrow went through my arm. I was completely incapacitated. This is nowhere near that bad.”

The only one unaffected was Thol. Fae iron didn’t affect humans. Prisca noticed where my gaze was stuck and elbowed me in the ribs.

We spent the next few hours focusing on the constant traps and finding ways to ensure we didn’t get lost. We were now so deep within the caves, the map was useless.

We’d assumed Regner’s iron guards would follow us into the caves. And each time one of them caught up to us, Cavis and I took care of the threat—only two or three of the guards at a time.

A boot scuffed against the dirt floor. Not one of ours. I bared my teeth, moving farther into the cavern as six men appeared, encircling us and sealing off the exits. The cavern was the perfect spot for an ambush. These men were more intelligent than any who’d attacked so far, and they’d managed to mask their scents from Cavis and me.

Not the iron guard. While they looked strong and fast, this was just a warning. A way to tire us, pick off the weakest among us, and to drive cracks through our morale.

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