“And you?”

“Nothing I’ve ever learned from an aura has been wrong,” she said simply.

She was curious about this strange talent despite her preoccupation. “Did mine tell you anything about me?”

“I haven’t looked.” Syrra flashed her a smile. “It’s considered impolite, to look without permission. An invasion of privacy. Like walking in on someone getting undressed.”

“And if I gave you permission?” Venna bit her lip. “I’m giving you permission.”

There was a long pause—long enough that she wondered if Syrra had decided against looking at her aura. Then she saw the faint, slightly bewildered smile dancing around the woman’s lips, caught the tiny little nod. She took a deep breath, let it out in the slow, controlled way that Belmont always did—then swore at the top of her voice. When she opened her eyes again, all three children were staring over at her with identical expressions of delight.

“Well, that’s a fun new word for the children of Kurivon,” Syrra said drily.

“Sorry. Sorry.” It felt like her heart was trying to climb out of her chest and strangle her. A worried look flickered across Syrra’s face, and she put a comforting hand on her shoulder that reminded her that she was holding her breath. When she inhaled, her whole body shuddered, and she recognized the panic that was flooding her system with adrenaline. She’d lost count of the number of times she’d fought demons solo, outnumbered and knowing that the slightest misstep would spell her painful death. But right now, sitting on the steps in the sunshine with a cup of tea in her lap, she felt more frightened than she ever had in her life. Abruptly, she realized she was whispering the same phrase over and over. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t—”

“Hey,” Syrra said, giving her a little shake. “Where did Rylan go?” She blinked, jolted out of the spiral by a new terror—but the boy was exactly where she’d left him, rolling around in the grass pretending that the twins had bested him in battle. Syrra smiled at the questioning look she shot her. “Just wanted to bring you back.”

“Thanks.” Another sharp exhale. The panic hadn’t gone far, but she was more on top of it now—though that was a precarious position. “What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?” Syrra said simply. “It’s still very early. If this isn’t something you want right now—or at all—you have options.”

“I didn’t even think I could…” She grimaced, gesturing down at her body as though it was an external force that had betrayed her. “I mean, I spent eight years nearly starving, I kind of thought that after all that I wouldn’t be able to…”

Syrra shrugged. “Bodies are resilient. You’d be surprised how many one-in-a-million pregnancies I’ve seen over the years. Including my own,” she added, a soft smile curving her lips as she looked over to the twins. “Couldn’t have chosen a more stressful time to turn up, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

“So you think I should—”

“I didn’t say that,” Syrra said firmly, looking back over at her. “I think you should make the choice that’s right for you, that’s what I think. I’m here if you want to talk it out, but I also understand if you need some time alone.”

Venna took a breath. “I made all my decisions on my own for eight years, and look where that got me.” Syrra laughed, and to her surprise, Venna found herself joining in. “Do you want to hear something absolutely ridiculous?”

“Always.”

“I want it. I want this.” Even as they left her lips, the words felt so comically inadequate compared to the storm inside her. But the smile on her friend’s face told her that at least some of it had come through in translation. “Is that completely insane?”

“Well, I”m biased,” the lorekeeper said, nodding towards her children. “But I don’t think it’s any more insane than anything else we’re doing here.” She paused. “It’ll be a while before you’re showing, but it might be worth having a plan in place before then.”

“Ah,” Venna said faintly. In the whirlwind, she’d briefly forgotten that anyone besides Syrra existed—but the memory came rushing back of all her former packmates. And foremost among them… “I have to talk to Belmont.” Syrra’s expression remained carefully blank, and Venna rolled her eyes impatiently. “You can stop pretending you don’t know it’s his.”

“Whew,” the lorekeeker said, eyes twinkling. “Finally. Okay. How are we feeling, about that prospect?”

Venna shrugged. “I’m not scared of him.”

“I know. But if you want someone there with you, let me know.”

Venna shook her head. “You’ve seen the way he freezes over when he’s talking in front of people. The only way I’m going to be able to get a real conversation out of him is if we’re alone.”

“I trust you,” Syrra said simply, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “And it goes without saying I’m here for you. Anything you need. Questions about pregnancy, someone to vent to, a place to stay—”

“—someone to help me assassinate an Alpha if he doesn’t react in the manner I deem correct—”

Syrra laughed. “I said anything, didn’t I?” Her smile faded a little. “You don’t need to tell him right away, you know. You only just found out yourself—you can take some time to let it settle. There’s a lot about Belmont that I admire, but I don’t know the first thing about how he’ll react to news like this, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m used to it,” she said with a shrug, not meaning it to sound as pathetic as it did. But Syrra just squeezed her hand, and she felt the warning prickle of tears as she looked out across the yard again. “I was the first one Tetra told,” she said, surprised by how easy it was to speak a name she’d been trying not to think about. “When she found out she was having Rylan. We were both so happy.” She swallowed hard, feeling Syrra listening intently. “I wish…” But she couldn’t finish that sentence. Her voice died in her throat, and she got to her feet instead, muttering something inane about how late it was getting. Syrra, who’d never outstayed a welcome in her life, gathered the twins and headed home. But before she left, she pulled Venna into a quick hug. And the warmth of that gesture was still with her, hours later, when she heard Belmont’s footsteps on the doorstep.

He looked surprised to see her, which was understandable. Generally when he got back this late, she made a point of being in bed already—which hadn’t stopped her emerging in her pajamas a few times to scold him for waking her up. But this time was different. She didn’t want him thinking that this was just another fight she was picking to get him into bed.

“Any news from patrol?”