Page 49 of Prometheus Burning

Jamie touched a hand to my face and held it gently. His blue eyes sparkled in the ever-growing darkness of the room, gaze traveling over my face, searching me intently. A grayness appeared over our bodies, making us barely visible except as silhouettes in front of the remaining brightness from the window.

Though no music played in the background, a slow guitar, playing a romantic melody from one of those doo-wop songs, danced inside my head. My pulse beat to the imaginary song which surrounded us in the moment and suddenly transformed us both into a magical time and space.

Our lips brushed together. He brought me into the circle of his arms. My body ached for his touch. Our energy drew us nearer, undeniably attracting us together. His mouth locked over mine, our kisses deepening more so than ever before. My fingers reached for his polo shirt, and I helped him pull it off before sliding off my own top. As if in a dream, a montage in a movie which moves in a rhythm, our clothes fell off. Our naked bodies pressed up against one another, the heat filling the space before us.

His body felt heavy and warm. He ran his hand along my side, running it up until he reached my cheek. The electricity of his touch worked its way through me, and an internal shiver struck me.

I swallowed.

“Jamie,” I whispered in between another kiss. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Neither do I.” He kissed me again. Then, “We don’t have to do anything at all. We can stop here. I’m sorry, I didn’t know this would—”

“Do you have a condom?” I asked.

“I… uh…” His face flushed a deep red. “Yeah, I do. In my pants pocket. But… it isn’t like… I didn’t think… I mean, that is…”

I silenced him by planting my mouth over his. I leaned away and over the bed, digging into his pocket for the condom. When I had the plastic wrapper in my hand, I lifted back up, suddenly very aware of my exposed naked body. I sighed in embarrassment, noticing Jamie’s blue eyes over my body. Everything about me felt round, pudgy. Fat, even. I had a hard-enough time looking at myself, let alone wondering what a guy would be thinking when he saw me naked.

Quickly, and without thinking, I pulled the covers up over my body as I opened the condom wrapper. Jamie placed a hand over my arm.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, as if he could read my thoughts. As if he could feel the insecurities swimming through my mind. A bashful embarrassment swept over me at his words. It almost made me want to hide even more. Because it meant he was actually looking at me.

“Thank you.” The words came out muffled. I kept my focus on the condom, then another worry crossed me. My skin paled.

How the actual fuck do you put one of these things on?

“Uh…” I said.

Jamie’s naked shoulder bumped against mine. He took my hands and guided me. Together, we rolled the condom down over him, his hands covering mine, our fingers laced together.

He gently eased me down onto the bed. I lay back against my pillow at the headrest, and Jamie slid into my embrace. My arms wrapped around the small of his back, and his fingers found their way into my hair. Our noses pressed against one another. As he pressed inside of me, ever so slowly, I felt the pressure against my walls. A quick, sharp pain. Then, once that left, intoxication crept over my body unlike anything I had ever known.

My heart hammered in my ears.

“Is this okay?” Jamie asked as softly as he also sounded breathy. Friction heated the area between our skin as we brushed back and forth against one another. “I’m not hurting you, right?”

“No, you’re not hurting me,” I said, voice as equally breathy as his. “Umm, not to ask a stupid question but… I’m not hurting you, right?”

He let out another breath before he spoke, his body sliding against mine.

“No,” he said. “Not at all.” A smoldering flame danced in his eyes, startling me to see such intensity directed at me. Our bodies danced together as one, a building pressure waiting for the big release. Our breaths grew hallower.

My mouth grew dry as the big wind up came from below.

Time stopped. The music paused. I was no longer with a person who couldn’t give himself to me. My heart was no longer locked away. I let it all loose, and so did he. We found each other. Him cupping his hands around my face. My nails digging into his back. In the depths of the fall night, in the darkening room, our bodies belonged to one another. It didn’t matter what he’d said about not allowing himself to love me. It didn’t matter that he claimed he loved someone else.

In this moment, the briefest of moments, I knew he was mine, and I was his. And we belonged.

Maybe there could be a future where we didn’t stay together.

Maybe this was only temporary.

But if only for this temporary, fleeting moment… our hearts melded together. We blended, syncing together the way I’d never dreamed two people could.

“I love you.”

The words slipped out of me before I even had the chance of catching it, of stopping myself. Of blocking the emotion from simmering and bubbling over.

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