Page 22 of Prometheus Burning

What the fuck.

What the fuckity fuck fuck.

Chapter Eighteen

Therapy

Rain drops pelted against my windshield as I rang Dr. Wiig’s phone. The wipers whipped back and forth. Between this and the arrival of twilight, it was impossible to see my house from the driveway where I parked. I’d almost pulled into the garage on a night full of storms and clouds, but the intrusive thoughts—the ones telling me to shut the door, keep the car running, and justdo italready—entered my mind every time I sat in that garage. And it was too tempting to sit with the engine running with a closed door and wait and wait and wait and…

A beep sounded after I reached Dr. Wiig’s voicemail.

“Hi… Dr. Wiig…” I glued my eyes to the screen of my phone which rested in the mount on top of my car’s dashboard. “I know, it’s a Sunday. And you’re not in the office. But, please, if you happen to be checking your messages… please… call me back. This is an absolute emergency and…”

My tone softened as I said the next words.

“I’m scared I’m going crazy.”

I hit end on the screen. The tears welled in my eyes, pooling out in warm little streams as they trailed down my face. My nose scrunched. I shook. Suddenly, I’d gone from lightly crying to full on ugly tear-mode. I swiped across my eyes, but this only temporarily cleared away the damp puddles on my skin.

A rush of emotion surged through me. The shaking morphed into a fit. I wound my fingers around the faded gray steering wheel, worn around the areas I usually clutched my fingers. I didn’t want to go into my empty house, but also didn’t wish to stay in this spot. I let out a sigh full of pinching sadness that left me even more full of holes.

I considered calling my mom, but then I decided against it. She would most likely agree I was going nuts. Probably even want me to check into a mental hospital. As an afterthought, I considered calling Meghan, asking for an extension on my book due to the state of my mental health. But I knew she wouldn’t listen because Kratchette expected the book within eighteen days now. Mental health or no mental health.

It had to be the stress of the deadline. That had to be why I was hearing the voice of Jamie.

Dad was right. Don’t be a writer. Why had I not listened?

“You’re not going crazy.”

Jamie’s voice sounded gentle.Soothing. But that didn’t change that fact that it was here when I knew damn well that wasn’t physically or logically possible. My mind played a cruel trick on me. Taunting me with the one person I most wanted to be near again.

I cupped my hands over my eyes.

“Just leave me alone,” I begged, shivering from both the cold and the overload of emotional turmoil coursing through me. My jaw clenched as I rejected the pain of all the things I refused to deal with.Not now, not now.I couldn’t deal with this especially when I had a book to finish.

The rain continued to beat down against my car as I froze in place.

I took a deep breath.

As the air entered my lungs, the space around me filled with an energy I had never experienced before. An incredible rush of love. I exhaled, and my body buzzed. Like every single molecule turned warm. A swoosh of heat brushed in front of me, then dissipated. A wave of happiness filled my insides, and I heard something click internally like one of those old cameras from the late 1800’s. Instinctively, I knew that sound and the feeling came from within me.

This was something I’d never, ever experienced in my entire life.

The vibration around me migrated to the passenger’s seat. My right side buzzed with this ongoing love.

How am I suddenly so happy after all the sadness?

My eyes focused on the palm of my hands and tears blocked my vision. Warmth danced across my knuckles causing my brows to furrow. Through my murky sight, a transparent image played over my wrist. The image morphed into something more solid—a male’s hand, the same as the hands with blond hair that I’d seen when I gazed into Jamie’s coffin. Except these hands glowed brightly, and I could feel the energy bouncing from them onto me. My skin vibrated in the place where he touched me.

Almost as if I had become electrically charged.

A translucent form of a hand and an arm, not of flesh, formed over mine. Somehow, without looking over, I sensed Jamie’s presence next to me in the car. Felt it without seeing it. A rush of something—shock or disbelief, I wasn’t sure what exactly—shot through my body.

The fear melted away, replaced by pure excitement that this could actually be happening. Oh, I was skeptical that my mind played tricks on me. Wondered if I had in fact gone crazy. If this was some strange ass hangover. But the presence in the space gave me the greatest sense of peace I had encountered in a long time. And, just like that, I understood this was so much more than anything my brain could create on its own.

Jamie was here with me.

I knew it.

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