Page 24 of Knot Alone

Honestly, I’m not ready for anything right now. I crank the water to scalding and let it pound down on my skull. I’m trying to drown out the voice in my head that hisses in self-doubt that I should’ve known this would happen. Alphas always end up with Omegas.

No. I snap at myself.

I love Linus.

I trust Linus.

Yes, I’m an adult who’s been through a hell of a lot of PTSD therapy, which means I can admit that it hurts a little to stop being the only person Linus has ever wanted.

But I can also admit that this is what I’ve been hoping for.

I love Linus, and if it’s just the two of us for the rest of our lives, I’ll still be happy. But I’ve missed Omegas. I’ve missed having multiple partners. That means I don’t have a right to be hurt about Maggie because I’m the one who’s slowly been working Linus into the possibility of something just like this.

Only, not just like this.

Because I’ve been thinking about an arrangement where we help the occasional Omega through their heat.

I didn’t… I didn’t plan on Maggie.

Maggie, who is kind and clever, and smells like she belongs in our home. From what I can guess, Maggie has been stuck as a house Omega, taking care of her siblings’ children. Which is everything Linus’ parents have ever wanted for him.

I thump my head against the shower tiles.

That is my problem.

The problem isn’t Maggie. Maggie is perfect. She fits with us like a missing puzzle piece.

The problem is Linus’ parents, who are going to think Maggie is perfect too. (To say nothing about what made Maggie so hesitant while she texted her check-in. I’m worried that something is going on because this situation isn’t already complicated enough.)

A squeak interrupts my angst.

I twist around and there’s Maggie, lurking in the bathroom doorway. She’s bright red, staring at all the parts of me she couldn’t see during sex.

I know what I look like. My physique used to be for practicality’s sake, born out of hard work for my job, then hard work to keep my mental health above water. Then it became a pleasure—helped along by people who’d scoff about why Linus would choose me when he could have any Omega in the world. Then they’d see me and think they understood.

I nudge open the glass just enough to communicate but keep in the heat. “Are you okay?”

Maggie straightens her spine and keeps her eyes on mine as she steps to the opening so we can talk without shouting over the water. “Do you need me to leave?”

“What? No!” I flick off the faucet.

“Because he loves you,” Maggie says. I slowly drag my eyes away from the handle and back to her face. She’s folded her arms to cover her sweet little tits, like she’s uncomfortable. “It’s kind of ridiculous how in love with you he is.”

Maggie means it. The words are weighty, with no judgment and no pain, just fact. Like Maggie thinks I need reassurance about my husband, but she isn’t sure how to do it. After all, wondering if Linus still loves me is about as good a use of time as wondering if the sun is going to rise.

“I know that.” I do, and my voice reflects my certainty.

Maggie gulps. “I don’t want to hurt you. Either of you.”

I step out of the shower, uncaring that I’m buck naked. Something in me uncoils at her sincerity. Something I didn’t realize was tight. “It’s not you. You’re great. It’s just…” I run a hand through my hair, fluffing it up even more.

Maggie reaches out to the bar and hands me a towel, like she can tell my words are vulnerable enough. I don’t need to be naked too. I wrap the towel around my waist with more care than I need, unable to meet her eyes while I speak. “I’m the Alpha who paid for university by enlisting, and he’s old money and another Alpha. I’ll never be what his family wanted for him.”

“And I am?” Maggie scoffs. “A past-her-prime Omega with nothing to show for it?”

“Hey.” I face her. “You’re kind. And you’re loyal. And you’re honest. And you’re brave.”

“And you’re sweet and safe.” Maggie interrupts. “And I…” She tears up. “Stupid hormones,” Maggie grumbles as she scrubs her hands across her cheeks.

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