Page 18 of Knot Alone

“All?”

“I’m the youngest of six.”

“Six? And…” Graham hesitates, then laughs at himself. “I never know how to ask for people’s family makeup. I used to know, then I got stuck spending my weekends with old money and they get prickly when you ask that sort of thing.”

“Really?”

He rolls his eyes. “It’s absurd. There are whole sub-sections of high society that still adhere to the one alpha, one omega model.”

“But…” I blink. Everyone knows the one-to-one math doesn’t bear out. The world’s ratio of Alphas to Omegas is almost 10:1, and that doesn’t even factor in all the Betas. What’s more, Omega biology usually requires multiple Alphas to be satisfied. That blunt fact is what made me try and be compassionate with Peterson because I know my lack of want or need for an Alpha is a statistical outlier.

And Omegas need Alphas for more than just heat. Omegas tend to need the emotional companionship of multiple partners or our physical and mental health suffers. There aren’t enough Omegas for each Alpha to have one of their own. Even if there were, that ratio wouldn’t keep the Omegas in good health.

The reality is that packs are the norm. Now that society is more accepting, there are so many combinations of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that everyone can find a pack that makes them happy.

“Yeah.” Graham sighs. “You want to start a fight amongst a bunch of 70-year-old millionaires? Start talking about basic population statistics.”

“Or tell them you’re an Alpha in love with another Alpha,” Linus says dryly as he scrapes his spoon across the bottom of the bowl.

Graham grimaces. “I learned all kinds of new slurs that day.”

The Alphas both shudder in shared memory, and something about that synchronicity makes me ache.

I want to know what they said that day. I want to know who said it and how passive-aggressively Linus had torn apart their life. I want to know if Linus enjoys his job as a corporate lawyer or if he did what his parents expected of him, like I did. I want to sit in the room while Graham sculpts. I want to lean against Linus in Graham’s garden while we eat a lunch he made. I want him to show me how not to be a plant killer myself. I want a history where all three of us can shudder at a shared memory.

But none of that is going to happen.

Linus and Graham are happily married, ridiculously in love, and I have a heat to get through.

“Hey, hey.” Graham slides off his stool and twists me around so he can stand between my legs. His gentle hands wrap around my jaw and tilt my head back. I look into his bright blue eyes while Linus presses against my back, hot hands stroking up and down my arms while the two of them form a wall between me and the world.

I’ve never wanted an Alpha before. Bonding is a major commitment that would upend my entire life. But at this moment, with their steady, safe hands on me, I can admit that I might be happy to stay between them forever.

“Are you okay?” Graham asks, and I realize my scent has gone bitter with grief about what I can’t have.

“I’m just trying to figure out what comes next,” I say. It’s not a lie, but it’s not quite the truth either.

“Well,” Graham leans in and rubs his five-o’clock shadow across my cheek, making me shiver. “I thought we could use the night to get to know one another.”

I drop my head back to Linus’ shoulder without thought.

Graham runs his nose up the sensitive column of my throat, hot breath tickling against my skin. “Maybe we could see if we’re as good a match as Linus thinks we are.”

Graham pulls back and I groan in complaint. I don’t mean to, but it makes Graham rub his thumb over my bottom lip.

“Yeah…” he murmurs. “I think you’re our girl, aren’t you?”

My cunt clenches hard at the words, and I can smell the sweet scent of my own caramelized raspberries like I just sprayed perfume in his face. But I can’t summon up embarrassment. Not when Linus’ hands clench on my arms and Graham’s pupils dilate so hard there’s a thin ring of bright blue around the black.

With his eyes on mine, Graham trails the back of his fingers down my cheek, over my throat, and across the curve of my breast to my top button. He’s barely touched me with two fingers and I’m already so turned on I can’t catch my breath.

“Do I have your permission?”

I bite my lip and nod.

“Maggie—”

“She doesn’t like talking,” Linus says, voice hot in my ear. Holy shit, I’ve been so focused on Graham that I forgot Linus is here at all, like I’m not using him as a backstop. “She likes nodding, and promises that if she doesn’t like something, she’ll say it.”