Page 17 of The Bad Girl List

“Looks like a few tourists in town for Passport found their way out here. Don’t worry, it still meets your antisocial standards.” Thomas slaps me on the shoulder and saunters off to the bar.

I spot Minnie, the cute bartender he’s here for. She’s definitely his type, with just enough tattoos and piercings to keep her interesting, but not so many that our mother would run screaming. Not that Thomas has a habit of bringing girls to the house.

My eyes skip past Minnie to the customer sitting at the bar in front of her. She looks part Asian and is having an animated discussion with Minnie about the best way to deflect propositions from customers. I can only assume she works in the hospitality business by what she’s saying. From her too-tight top to her ass-hugging jeans, it’s easy to imagine she gets her fair share of attention at whatever she does. She’s clearly a tourist.

“I once had this customer who would not go away, even after I said no to his face four times. Four times!” A wicked smile cracks her face. “So when he wouldn't take no for an answer, I gave him my mom’s phone number.”

“Annika, you’re a sly bitch.” Minnie chuckles as she pours a Cosmo into a martini glass. “I’m going to steal that move from you. I always tell guys I don’t sleep where I shit. That works surprisingly well.”

Thomas clearly has his work cut out for him. Well, my brother has never been one to be put off by challenges. In fact, challenges only make things more appealing to him. He’s more like our salesman dad than I am.

Minnie sets the Cosmo on the counter. A hand snakes around Annika and picks it up.

I hadn’t noticed anyone else sitting with her, but as Annika shifts, I catch sight of a second woman. She might be related to Annika, though she looks to be full Asian. She wears baggy cargo pants and a fitted white T-shirt. Her black hair is twisted into two buns on top of her head, and she’s leaning over the bar with a colored pencil in her hand.

Zeke’s blurs around me, the warm chatter morphing in a soft background buzz. I freeze mid-step, my entire world honing in on the girl with the Cosmo and the colored pencils.

Elle?

Time skips like a broken record. A memory of Elle is superimposed over the artist, and I recall bringing her here one night after a movie. I don’t even remember what we saw, but I remember laughing about a scene we had both particularly liked. Elle had been drinking Chardonnay, her favorite wine, and I’d ordered a glass of Port.

The memory comes back strong, almost like a moment of déjà vu. It’s gone almost as soon as it arrived, but it leaves behind a sensation of warm smiles and laughter. It’s disconcerting to remember what it feels like to be happy.

It’s the girl with the colored pencils. She looks just enough like Elle to send me into a tailspin. I can’t stop staring at her.

I need a drink. Many of them.

“Trev.” Thomas yanks on my arm. “Trevor, you okay?”

“I’m okay. I need a bottle of red.”

“On it, bro.” Thomas beelines back to the bar.

“Boys!” Gramps’s familiar voice calls out to us. I’d been so busy staring at the girl with the colored pencils that I hadn’t even noticed Gramps and his gang at their customary table.

I wander over, but I keep the girl in my periphery. She switches out a green pencil and picks up a blue one. What is she working on so intently? An empty Cosmo glass sits next to her, and she’s slurping on her second like she’s on a mission.

“Trevor?”

I realize Gramps has been saying something to me.

“Sorry, what?” I yank my gaze away from the girl with the colored pencils. “What did you say, Gramps?”

“I asked if you wanted to play the next round of gin with us, but I can see you have other things on your mind.” He winks at me, his faded blue eyes sliding in the direction of the bar. Before anyone else can catch his drift, he adds, “You’d better go keep an eye on Thomas before he offends our bartender. We like Minnie. Don’t let him scare her away, will you?”

“On it, Gramps.” I turn back toward the bar, my gaze once again tracking to the girl.

“Trev.” Gramps touches my arm.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad to see you out.” His wrinkled face rumples into a warm smile.

I hear what he’s not saying. Gramps is the only person in my life who really understands what I went through after the accident. He lost his wife, my grandmother, after fifty years of marriage.

I remember him sitting with me after Elle’s funeral. “Trevor,” he had said, “I’m not going to bullshit you. You’re never going to stop missing her, but that’s okay. When you love someone with your whole heart, you’re supposed to feel it when they’re gone. It’s the price you pay for loving someone. It’s part of life, and that’s okay.” His face had creased with a smile. “It’s a price I gladly pay every day for the fifty years I had with your grandmother.”

Gramps never tries to minimize my pain or convince me to move on. He knows coming here tonight wasn’t easy.

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