Page 81 of Toxic Obsession

I bit my lower lip, guilt washing over me for lying to Quinn, but I had to get him out of Ky’s space. It was going to consume him, chew him up, and spit him all over the floor. Ky had done enough. I wasn’t going to stand by and not protect Quinn this time.

I tapped the screen of my phone and flipped the flashlight on. The bright light broke through the darkness and an eerie feeling descended on me. Hurrying to the closet, I crawled to the corner again. A black, leatherbound book was wedged in between the cracks in the wall. No one would have known to search here, but there was also a shelf blocking most of the view. It’s why I never found it when Ky and I played. I wanted to tell Quinn, but I needed to look through it first.

I reached up beneath the shelf, still filled with more of Ky’s shoes, and wedged the book free. Dust flew up my nose, and I covered my mouth in time to muffle my sneeze. An idea popped into my head, and I shook one of Ky’s shirts off a hanger and used it to wipe off the leather. My heart skipped a beat, then broke into a full-on gallop as I cracked the book open. I ran my fingertips down the paper, over his thin, messy handwriting that filled the page.

“Ky,” I whispered. “I miss you so bad.” Tears streamed down my face, landing on my chest. “Why did you take innocent lives? What happened?” I inhaled a shaky breath, my attention focusing on the words he’d left behind.

Nothing

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It echoes from my soul

And screams right back to me

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It lives in my head

And shows me agony

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It’s the numbness

And the silence

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It’s the peace that isn’t peace

And the silence that screams

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It’s the quiet that is loud

And the success that is defeat

Nothing, nothing, nothing

It’s the end

And the beginning

Nothing

I clutched Ky’s shirt, my tears falling like plump drops of rain. Turning the page, I read the next poem.

Don’t Let Go

I cry in the silence where no one will know

I cry by myself cuz I can’t let it show

The crushing depression and crippling despair

The pain of nothingness so hard to share

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