Page 6 of Toxic Obsession

I removed the bread and placed it on top of the refrigerator. “Sorry I’m late. Apparently, everyone in town needed food tonight.”

Janine shot me a worried look. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing? Leaving for college, I mean.” She collected the gallon of milk and put it into the refrigerator.

I blew a strand of hair out of my face. “We’ve talked about this a hundred times. You’re seventeen, and you’ll be out of here soon. It’s only for a year.”

Janine’s blue eyes filled with regret. “I know. And it’s not that I want you to stay. I mean, Ido, but I want you to live your life too. You’ve been taking care of Mom and me for the last five years.”

“And I’ve completed as many classes as I can at the community college. I have to transfer somewhere. With Mr. Odgen’s help, I have a full ride to Whitmore University. It’s one of the best schools in the country.” I continued to unload the groceries as we talked.

Janine threw her hands up in the air as tears slipped down her cheeks. “But it’s hours away from here. What if something happens?” she choked out.

I set the lettuce down and grabbed her to give her a tight hug. “I have money saved in case of an emergency, and you know I’m only a phone call away.” I smoothed her light brown hair and again wished I wasn’t leaving my sister behind.

What I hadn’t told her was that getting out of here was the only way I could move on. Staying in this town was destroying me from the inside out.

I kissed the top of her head. “I’ve given you all the knowledge you need. You know how to access the bank account, pay all of the bills, and keep track of our finances. Plus, you take excellent care of the house.” I broke our hug before I tipped her chin up to wipe away her tears with the pad of my thumb. “You’ve got this.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath. “I’m starving, let’s make this a damn good dinner.” In a few strides, Janine crossed the kitchen. She gave me a sad smile as she opened the cabinet over the dishwasher and removed a few white stick candles. “We’re gonna be fancy and eat by candlelight.”

“Oh, that’s …” I frowned. “I paid the power bill, right?” I asked myself more than her.

Janine laughed. “Yeah, the new one just came in. Just thought it would be fun.”

“Nothing better than Hamburger Helper with candles.” My heart ached as I stared into her eyes, wishing again that I could stay with her forever. But as much as I wanted to, I knew I had to leave. The pain in my chest was agonizing, and it felt like my whole world was crashing down around me.

After dinner, Janine and I tackled the stack of dishes in the sink, the sound of clanking metal a sorrowful reminder of how things used to be. I silently reminisced about our family-race nights; Dad had brought a dull evening to life by creating a makeshift race track down the stairs using pieces of cardboard boxes. He had pretended to be a commentator, his booming voice making outlandish predictions of who would win. We’d laugh so hard our stomachs hurt, while Mom sat in her chair watching us with a glowing smile.

I paused at the foot of the stairs as a pang of sadness pierced my soul—those happy days were now just memories. In an instant, our lives changed from ones full of love and laughter to ones with oppressive darkness. I clenched my jaw as I remembered how Dad had just up and left without a word, not even bothering to stay in touch. Moisture welled in my eyes, making my sight blur. Only Janine and I were left of our family as far as I was concerned. Although we occasionally talked about Dad, we never spoke abouthim.

Briefly gritting my teeth, I mentally screamed as the dark thoughts rushed in. I refused to allow them to rip through me. I was leaving the next day, searching for a better life.

I clutched the rickety banister and pushed myself forward. One thing Dad had been able to do was put away money for college, but Mom blew through it pretty fast when the entire community turned against us and she lost her job. I couldn’t blame them, but the fact that we never moved from Forest Dale, Washington, was beyond me. Why stay and put us through hell?

Hatred swirled in my heart for my mother, for the way she had abandoned Janine and me the day our lives turned to shit, and again when Dad left. She had chosen to hide away in her bedroom rather than act like an adult and find a job. I worked whenever I could while trying to be there for my sister and keep up with schoolwork, but it wasn’t enough. Desperately needing a solution, Dimitri’s offer provided a lifeline. The increased salary allowed me to pay the bills and make ends meet, plus the shorter hours offered me more time with Janine and my studies. Even if it meant doing something morally questionable, I’d do whatever it took to provide for myself and my sister until I was able to make it on my own at Whitmore.

My legs felt like they were filled with lead as I slowly walked down the hallway, passing Janine’s room. I paused at the door between ours and all the memories flooded back. The guilt and shame overwhelmed me, and I desperately tried to take a deep breath.

I placed my forehead against the wall and whispered, “Goodbye.”

I made my way down the rest of the hall to Mom’s bedroom, my pulse spiking against my wrist. Quietly, I pushed the door open. The room was dark, but I knew she was there by the stench of whiskey and dirty clothes.

“Mom, are you awake?” I asked, wondering if she would even make an appearance on my last night at home.

Only silence greeted me, so I flipped on the light.

Mom groaned and jerked the brown comforter over her head. “Go away.”

Disgust threaded through me. “Do you need anything? Other than a shower, I mean.”

After debating on whether to remind her that I would be leaving bright and early in the morning, I decided not to. If I’d been important to her, she would have gotten out of her bed years ago and been a real mother. Instead, she had alcohol delivered and drank herself into a stupor every day. Dad had only been gone a week before she checked out on her kids, and we had no other choice than to fend for ourselves. Now, Janine would fill my shoes with a full-time job while she finished high school, paying the bills and fending for herself. I was probably a piece of shit sister for leaving her, but it was the only hope I had to be able to make a better life for us. Once I did, I would move Janine in with me.

“Sleep, Wynter. I need fucking sleep. Turn off the light, you’re killing me.”

“Well, you’re killing me too, so I guess we’re even. Maybe the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, huh? Maybe I’m just likehim.” I nearly gagged on my words as I folded my arms across my chest, waiting for her reaction.

Mom shot up in the bed, her blonde hair matted to the side of her head. “It wasn’t my fault!”

“But it was. It really was.” I flinched as the memories rushed at me, stealing my breath. Mom had been a fun, loving, nurturing parent at one time, which made her words sting even more.

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