Page 167 of Beautifully Damaged Boxset

A frown creased Chance’s forehead. “It’s been a while. I don’t remember what happened the first time, other than we couldn’t pull him out until we tossed buckets of ice into the bathwater.”

Goosebumps peppered my skin as I recalled the eerie feeling of the last hypnosis.

“A house, someone calling his name, and he saw himself in a mirror,” Jace reminded him.

“So you saw all of that again, Holden?” Chance seemed more alert now that we were talking about it.

“Worse. And the nightmares are the same as what I saw when I went under again,” I confessed.

“You’re having nightmares? Dude, when were you going to clue me in?” Irritation weaved through Chance’s tone.

Jace shot me an ‘I told you so’ look, and I mouthed a ‘fuck you’ at him. I followed it up with a half-cocked smile. He already knew how grateful I was for his help.

“Brynn knew,” Jace added.

“You’re just trying to get me into trouble, aren’t you?” I laughed softly.

“Hell yeah. I’ve got to entertain our girl somehow.” Jace leaned back in his chair as his gaze flitted to an unmoving Brynn.

“Man, I wish I’d been there,” Chance said quietly.

“You don’t. The shit that I said afterward was fucked up.”

Jace nodded. “Very.”

“Well quit pretending this is a suspense novel and fucking spill.” Exasperation clouded Chance’s features.

I gently squeezed Brynn’s hand. It was nice to touch her again. I’d missed her horribly while she’d been at OHSU. “I have a hunch that my nightmares are telling me something about River. That’s the only reason I asked Jace to help me. There’s something I’m missing.” With a shake of my head to clear away the memories, I took a deep breath. “The same little voice calls my name in the nightmares as while I’m hypnotized. It’s a little kid. I’m not sure if it’s a boy or a girl, but they’re terrified, screaming for me to help.”

“Fuck,” Chance said softly.

“This time I walked down a hall and saw different memories of Brynn, Mom, Mallory, Tim, and Hannah, then I reached a door. Once I pushed it open, everything changed. I didn’t recognize the room or the people. But …” I coughed in an attempt to hide the gut-wrenching emotion that had lodged itself in my throat. “Adults were abusing boys and girls in their late teens. Sexually. It was a party, and they selected their preference.” I covered my mouth with my hand. “I saw one girl being led around by a leash. She was naked and crawling on all fours.”

“Shit. That’s some vivid recollection.” He gave me a clipped nod, but a storm brewed in his expression.

“We’re still trying to figure out how it might relate to River,” Jace said.

“What’s startling is that your nightmares are similar. I mean, dreams are pretty symbolic. Just because you see a lot of money in a dream doesn’t mean you’re going to be rich. But with the hypnosis.” Chance’s voice trailed off. “Holden, those are memories that you’ve repressed.”

“Exactly,” Jace added.

Bile churned in my stomach, burning a trail up my throat. I wished like hell Brynn and River were here to share their thoughts.

“I hadn’t had the nightmares in a while, then when I met River, they were nonexistent until she disappeared,” I explained.

“That’s why you think they’re connected to her?” Chance shook his head in dismay.

“Yeah.”

Jace’s attention bounced between Chance and me as he spoke. “Ya know, I’d have to agree with you. I mean what’s the probability? I think your subconscious is trying to tell you where she is or who has her.”

“I made a deal with Tim, too. Since he knows who has River and hasn’t told me …” I ground my molars together as a white-hot fury licked through me. “I told him unless he brings her home, I won’t work for him. His time is definitely running out.” My shoulders slumped. “I’m not sure I’m a big enough bargaining chip, but I gave it a shot.”

“Well, does he know where she is? That could put a kink in his plan if he doesn’t know where she is,” Chance pointed out.

“Dammit. With everything going on, that possibility hadn’t crossed my mind.” My heart plummeted to my toes. “He might not be able to do anything at all.”

“Days can seem like a fucking eternity, but let’s see what happens,” Jace said.

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