Page 50 of The Inmate
This Friday afternoon at three we are going to have a bridal shower to celebrate Kim’s upcoming nuptials! Gifts are allowed and encouraged, and there is no spending limit! After all, Kim will only be getting married once. (We hope!) We are also going to do this potluck style so please let me know what yummy treats you will be bringing so we don’t all bring the same thing!
From: Dawn Schiff
To: Vixed Employees
Subject: Re: Bridal shower!!!!
I’m so excited! I’ll be bringing my famous turtle cupcakes. Sometimes with respect to desserts, “turtle” refers to candy made with pecans and caramel dipped in chocolate, but these will be actual turtle cupcakes! The inside will be chocolate, and while I won’t be giving away all my secrets, trust me when I say these cupcakes will very much resemble turtles. I’m so excited to share them with you!
Sincerely,
Dawn Schiff
From: Natalie Farrell
To: Vixed Employees
Subject: Re: Bridal shower!!!!
For God’s sake, Dawn, you don’t need to always hit “reply all” on emails!!! I will let you know if anyone else claims cupcakes.
To: Mia Hodge
From: Dawn Schiff
Subject: Re: Greetings
Dear Mia,
This morning, I came to work with a tray of a dozen cupcakes. Natalie never got back to me about whether it was okay for me to bring them, but I figured you can never have too many cupcakes. I made chocolate, because we all know everybody loves chocolate. But I did use vanilla frosting, because I was able to add blue food coloring to make the icing look like the ocean, and then added green gummies to turn them into turtle cupcakes. I worked so hard on them. I’m attaching a photo so you can see how beautiful they were.
The bridal shower was at three o’clock in the conference room. Natalie spent most of the day preparing for it. Every time I looked up, she was in the conference room decorating. I thought about asking if I could help, but I didn’t want to annoy her. So I kept my distance.
At three o’clock, my coworkers started filtering into the conference room with trays of food. I ran to the break room to grab my cupcakes, which I stashed on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator.
Except the cupcakes weren’t there.
I was sure I put them in the refrigerator. I did it as soon as I came in, so the cupcakes would stay fresh. I checked every shelf, although the tray was bulky enough that it didn’t seem like it would get lost in the refrigerator. Then I started checking the cabinets above the sink, wondering if somebody stashed the cupcakes up there.
After about five minutes of searching, I was starting to panic. My heart was racing as I rummaged through all the drawers and cabinets in the break room. I had been so excited to show everyone my cupcakes. What could have happened to them?
But then it hit me. Somebody probably saw the cupcakes and brought them over to the conference room, assuming they were for the shower.
The bridal shower had been going on for about fifteen minutes at this point. I rinsed off my hands and headed to the conference room to join the others. I could see almost everyone in the office was participating. This was an excellent opportunity to get to talk to my coworkers in a low-pressure environment.
Natalie was by the conference table, talking to Seth, who was munching on a tray of food. Seth had a smile playing on his lips, the same way he always did when he was talking to Natalie. I never figured out if he knew about his wife showing up at work and leaving that threatening note for Natalie. I did think about telling him, but I decided to take your advice and keep out of it.
But today I watched the two of them for a moment from outside the conference room. It was weird but I could almost imagine him leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers, running his fingers through her long, silky hair. It’s not hard to see why he likes her.
I grabbed the handle of the conference room door. Instantly, Natalie jerked her head up. She abandoned Seth and sprinted across the room to the door to greet me. But she didn’t look happy to see me. She started asking a million questions about what I was doing there, even though I was on the email where she invited the entire company.
Then she pointed out that it was a potluck and I hadn’t brought anything. I was still hoping the turtle cupcakes had migrated to the party on their own, so I let her know that I was the creator of the turtle cupcakes. But when I said that, she acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. “There are no turtle cupcakes in here,” she kept saying. Then she accused me of lying about having brought them.
“Please don’t tell lies, Dawn,” she said. “It’s so unattractive.”
When she said the word “unattractive,” she made a pointed gesture at my outfit. Unlike Natalie, I usually wear slacks to work. Skirts make me uncomfortable. And I don’t wear fitted blouses like she does either—ones that strain at the bosom—although to be fair, I don’t have much to show off in that department. My mother always used to say I have the figure of a prepubescent boy.
I kept insisting I made twelve chocolate cupcakes, but Natalie would not step aside to let me into the bridal shower. Finally, she said she didn’t understand why I was here in the first place because I’m not even friends with Kim. When I pointed out that she invited me, she just shook her head.
