Page 77 of Ward D
Damon Sawyer.
I close my eyes, remembering the sounds I heard from within that room when I first arrived. Those awful guttural noises. Or when Sawyer was throwing himself at the door, attempting to break it down. Or when he pleaded with me to let him out. Although the scariest thing of all was the silence. The man somehow got out of his wrist restraints. And now he may have escaped the room entirely.
Except where is he?
I had thought Damon Sawyer’s chart had been removed from the nurses’ station, but now I realize that it’s just been pushed into the corner. There was no reason to look at it when I first got here, because I did not believe I would be seeing him. But now it’s the only way to know what I’m up against.
I need to know what this man did to put him in here. I need to know what he’s capable of. I need to be able to defend myself, especially now that Will is incapacitated.
I grab the chart, my hands shaking so much that I almost drop it. I pull the cover open, turning to the emergency room notes. Just like in all the other charts, he’s got a note from his intake. It was written the night he came in and details the events that led to his incarceration here, as well as his mental health history.
As I start reading, a sick feeling comes over me. Oh my God. I wish I had read this from the beginning.
This changes absolutely everything.
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Damon Sawyer is a thirty-two-year-old man with a history of schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is a combination of schizophrenia and a mood disorder—in this case, bipolar. In Sawyer’s case, he had symptoms of schizophrenia including hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized thinking, but also mania.
I’ve never seen such an extensive psychiatric history. There was never anything like this in the charts for Dr. Sleepy’s patients.
There are documents faxed in from multiple sources, all synthesized into a ten-page detailed history on Sawyer. I read every single sentence, my eyes locked on the chart. With every page I turn, I have a better understanding of the man locked in seclusion, and why everyone here believes him to be so incredibly dangerous.
Damon Sawyer’s family history is unremarkable. His father is a businessman, and his mother is a homemaker. There was no abuse or neglect recorded to explain the fact that at a young age, Sawyer was diagnosed with something called conduct disorder.
Even though I have no internet access, I have several medical apps on my phone that don’t require the internet. I check the psychiatry app, which informs me that conduct disorder is a mental disorder diagnosed in childhood or adolescence, presenting with a persistent pattern of theft, lies, and physical violence. A classic antisocial behavior pattern.
In Sawyer’s case, he really liked setting fires.
Sawyer was hospitalized on and off for several years starting at age ten after a variety of physical altercations and charges of arson. Finally, at age fifteen, he set a fire that resulted in “two casualties.” He claimed voices in his head told him to do it, and as a result, was committed to a psychiatric facility for the next four years.
During his time at the psychiatric facility, he received his diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder in addition to his conduct disorder. You would think after someone sets a fire that kills two people, they would be locked up for good, but he was released at age nineteen after supposedly being stabilized on medication.
In his twenties, Sawyer struggled with substance abuse. After Jade’s mother’s overdose, I learned how common it is for people with mental illness to also struggle with addiction. Sawyer bounced between prison and psychiatric hospitals, as he was picked up multiple times on charges of possession and dealing. But on the plus side, he didn’t set any more fires.
At least, none that anyone knew about.
The note goes on to mention that Sawyer has been convicted of assault and even an attempted manslaughter charge, but due to his extensive psychiatric history, these sentences were commuted into psychiatric hospital stays. But clearly, this is a very dangerous man. In the emergency room, he had to be restrained by four staff members, although he eventually calmed down enough with medication that they thought he would be appropriate for Ward D.
They were wrong.
But none of that is what is shocking. What makes my heart drop into my intestines is the story of what brought Damon Sawyer to the emergency room in the first place on this particular occasion. When I read it, I’m certain I must’ve read it wrong. This can’t possibly be what I think it is. But every time I read the words, they say the same exact thing.
Sawyer was with his girlfriend. The two of them were drinking beer together, and they decided it would be hilarious to go and rob a bunch of banks using their beer bottles. So they went all over town, demanding money from bank clerks while pointing their beer bottles at them.
Jade does have a boyfriend. But her boyfriend isn’t Will Schoenfeld, who was never hearing voices at all and just went too far to achieve his dream to be a reporter forThe New York Times.
No, Jade’s boyfriend is Damon Sawyer.
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It finally makes perfect sense.
Jade is the one who helped Sawyer escape from Seclusion One during the blackout. She’s been helping him with everything tonight. Including misleading the rest of us by pretending Will had been her boyfriend. I fell right into that trap.
I close the chart with a snap and push it away, like it’s made from poison. Damon Sawyer, who has a list of psych hospitalizations as long as my arm, is now roaming Ward D. Damon Sawyer, who required four staff members to restrain him in the emergency room.
Oh God, what do I do?
