Page 55 of Ward D
“You know,” she says, “you shouldn’t act so superior. You’re more like me than you think.”
For some reason, thoughts of that little girl pop into my head. I saw her again this morning. She was in the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth. She didn’t say anything this time. She just watched me for a moment, and after I spit out the toothpaste, I looked up and she was gone.
If I tell anyone what I’ve been seeing, I don’t know what will happen. I was looking it up on the internet last night.What does it mean when you’re seeing things that aren’t there?
The answers went from bad to horrible. It could be an issue with my vision, although that doesn’t explain why the little girl was talking to me. Or I could have epilepsy. I could have a brain tumor.
Or I could be developing schizophrenia.
And if that’s the case, what kind of future do I have ahead of me?
“This will blow over,” Jade says. “I’m sure of it.”
“I’m not so sure,” I mutter.
“Look.” Jade levels her gaze at me. “I told you I’d help you with the exam, and I did, didn’t I? Well, now I’m telling you that this is going to be fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of everything. I promise.”
Jade will take care of everything? What does that evenmean? How could anyone possibly fix this situation?
I’m pretty sure my life as I know it is over, and my future is screwed.
33
PRESENT DAY
It’s only after Dr. Beck has gone back to his office that I realize Jade has witnessed our entire encounter.
She’s been watching from the doorway to her room, leaning against the frame, an amused look on her face. Her lipstick is still smeared, and now so is her mascara. The light is off in her room, and her face is glowing under the dim hall lights.
“So,” she says, “you’re still seeing things then.”
“No.” I shiver in my scrubs. “I’m not.”
“Okay, so…. you didn’t just hallucinate a pool of blood in the hallway?”
There’s nothing I can say to that. She’s right. I did imagine a pool of blood in the hallway. It looked so real. But now I can clearly see that there’s no blood there. There isn’t even anything that could be mistaken for blood.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. Not again.
“And you hear things too,” she says. “Don’t you?”
My knees almost buckle beneath me. Since I set foot on this unit, I’ve been hearing noises coming from Seclusion One. Noises that nobody else seems to hear or be bothered by. So does that mean…?
“You should have gotten help when we were sixteen,” Jade says. “You could have. You could’ve been honest with everyone.”
“I’m fine,” I say weakly. “Okay, I was… I was having issues for a little while. But it passed. Maybe it was… I don’t know, hormonal.”
“Hormonal!” Jade bursts out. “Oh, Amy. Is that really the lie you’re telling yourself?”
“Keep your voice down…”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are.”
“At least I didn’t rob a bank with a beer bottle!”
Jade’s eyes widen, and for a moment, I’m scared I’ve gone too far. But then she throws her head back and laughs. “Oh my God, Iknewyou were going to read my chart eventually. You’re so predictable!”
“Yeah, well…”
