Page 86 of Smolder (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 29)

Jean-Claude’s lips brushed the knuckles of the hand he was holding. “Make love, not war,” he said, and his voice glided over my body so that I shivered more from his words than any touch. Wicked poked his head back in the car. “We must get you inside in a secure location before you do anything else.”

Nicky drew back from nuzzling my neck and said, “Wicked is right, safety has to come first.” He drew back again enough for me to see his face. His one eye changed from yellow to blue as I watched, and I realized that I couldn’t see my lioness in my head anymore. I was alone for the moment.

“Let’s get inside while the getting is good,” I said.

Jean-Claude’s hand was more solid on mine. “Oui, there is much to be done before dawn.”

Somehow I didn’t think he was talking about romance, more’s the pity, but if we could figure out what the hell was up with my lion so she didn’t try to tear me apart again, the romance could wait.

35

I LOOKED FOR NATHANIELin the mass of bodyguards as we crammed through the back door of the Circus of the Damned. Jean-Claude and I ended up shoved against the stacked boxes on the far side of the room. Jean-Claude squeezed my hand, which made me look up at him. “Nathaniel is not here.”

“Was I thinking that loudly?”

“Yes,” Richard and Nicky both answered from closer to the outer door. I looked toward them, but it was just a sea of bodyguards with Ethan’s back my closest view. Wicked and Truth were on either side of Jean-Claude. I realized it was Jake still in his exercise clothes standing beside him. I’d expected him to stay near Richard, being a werewolf and all. I wasn’t complaining, just noticing.

Jean-Claude put his arm over my shoulder, drawing me into the circle of his body and making us take up less room in the crush of people. “Oui, ma petite, but I believe he has gone ahead to prepare food for you and Richard, since I have taken so much energy from you both.”

I wrapped my arms around him, enjoying the feel of him underneath the silk of the robe. I laid my head against his chest, and his heart beat against me. It was slower than any human could survive, slow and thick like it had to wake up to beat, but it was there. I’dgotten so used to his heart not beating that this was startling, the way it had been at the beginning when I realized I missed the beat of his heart.

Wicked yelled, “Whoever is nearer the door, open it so we can move our principals downstairs.”

“We don’t take orders from any vampire but Jean-Claude.” It was the Demolition Man again, sounding sullen and unhelpful.

“Do as you are told,” Jean-Claude said.

“I’ll do what you tell me to do, not Wicked.”

“Are you seriously going to make Jean-Claude repeat what Wicked said, because you have some kind of beef with him?” I asked.

“Who’s next to the door besides Demo?” Jake didn’t yell, but his voice had that tone that didn’t need to yell to tell someone they were in trouble. I didn’t recognize the man’s voice that said, “I am, sir.”

“Then open the door so we can move to a more secure location,” Jake said, still in that unfriendly, not-yelling voice.

“I can open it,” Demo said.

“You had your chance,” Jake said.

The door opened and the nearest guards began to filter through while Demo tried to argue with someone near him. Jean-Claude and I kept our arms around each other as we moved with Wicked in front of us, Ethan beside us, and Jake and Truth behind us. The only thing that would have made me feel safer was if Nicky could have been beside us. I took one arm from around Jean-Claude’s waist, so I’d have one empty hand as we passed through the door. As we got closer I could see Demo beside the door. He was waiting to cause more trouble, like I’d half expected. I moved my arms so I wasn’t hugging Jean-Claude and he didn’t argue. He could read my thoughts, so he knew. I was being overly cautious since Demo would have to get through Wicked and Ethan to get to us, which wasn’t happening, but I never like to rely entirely on anyone else when it comes to personal safety. It was part of what I’d hated about theshoes tonight; they’d practically crippled me from running or fighting. It was part of the argument we’d been having about my wedding dress, and if you sayBut it’s your wedding day, there will be plenty of security, you’ve missed the point.

“I am sorry that tonight’s shoes were such a problem for you,ma petite.”

The whole mind-reading thing used to creep me out, but now I thought it just saved so much time. “They can be bedroom shoes, but I won’t wear them out again.”

“Agreed,ma petite.”

My stomach was tight, my shoulders bunching for a fight as we got closer to Demo, and that was when I knew he could no longer bodyguard anyone, because you absolutely must trust anyone who is supposed to take a bullet for you. I didn’t trust Demo not to take a swing at Wicked as we tried to go through the door.

Wicked was almost even with the bigger man when I suddenly wasn’t tense anymore. I was strangely relaxed. The inside of my head had gone to that quiet place. I unsnapped the purse and slipped my hand inside it until it wrapped around the little Sig Sauer so all I had to do was flip the safety off, get closer, and pull the trigger. Normally I wouldn’t have been caressing the trigger this soon, but he wasn’t just a wereanimal, he was former military, which meant he was superhuman fast and trained. It was why I kept the gun inside the little bag so he wouldn’t see it coming. I hoped the purse wasn’t as expensive as I feared, because I wasn’t taking the gun out of it to fire it. When seconds count, just shoot through your damn purse. You only need to take it out if you have to aim at a distance, and ladies, if you need to do that then just freaking run.

Was I overreacting, and if I was, why? Demo hadn’t threatened me, or Jean-Claude, so why was my finger on the trigger? Because I’d felt helpless. Jean-Claude had dressed me like the princess in the story and... it wasn’t me. It would never be me. That wasn’t a good enough reason to shoot someone, though. I took my finger off thetrigger. Wicked could handle himself if Demo tried anything. I didn’t need to protect my protectors.

Jean-Claude leaned close to my face and whispered, “I am so sorry,ma petite.”

“I know,” I said, but I didn’t look at him. I kept my attention on Demo and getting through the door. The gun was still in my hand; I’d just gotten off the trigger because I didn’t trust myself not to overreact, which wasn’t like me. Did I want to prove that I could protect myself? Was I having a macho moment? I didn’t know, and if you carry a gun, you need to know. Shit.

I used my thumb to slide the safety on, then took my hand out of my purse and accepted that the inside of my head was too snarled to be trusted to make the right decision. If Demo managed to get past all our security, which was incredibly unlikely, I could go for his knee, dislocate it, then try for an elbow to his head or dislocating his shoulder depending on what openings he gave me. I had a plan now, and I was calmer. It would be okay, but part of me didn’t believe it.

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