Page 24 of Rafael (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 28)

“No, we’ve had the conversation before,” I said, not like I was entirely happy about it.

Rafael looked at all of us, including Micah, who was trying for a blank face. “What am I missing here?”

Surprisingly, it was Claudia who answered, “Nathaniel’s not conflicted about what he is and what he wants.”

We all looked at her. “I didn’t know you were paying that much attention to what I wanted,” Nathaniel said.

She looked uncomfortable, but said, “You almost picked a fight with Bobby Lee when you came into the power of your triumvirate. He told the other bodyguards so we wouldn’t underestimate you.”

Nathaniel looked embarrassed, which you didn’t see often. “I didn’t understand that power could be like drugs. It was like being high and I’m not good when I’m high, which is one of the reasons I got clean and stayed clean.”

“The powerless are sometimes only good because they are not strong enough to be evil,” Rafael said.

Nathaniel gave him startled eyes and then looked away and nodded. “The temptation was there, but Damian and Anita deserved better than me acting like an asshole.”

“But you’re the only one who isn’t conflicted about your supernatural powers, and... the sex,” Claudia said, like she wished she hadn’t had to say it. “I didn’t realize that it limited Jean-Claude’s power with Richard and Anita so much until you showed us all how much power could be gained without that hesitation.”

“Being nicer about it limits the power, too,” he said.

“Maybe,” she said, “but it still shows us what the other triumvirate could be.”

“I want the power of being your rat to call, Anita, and I am not conflicted about it.”

“Without a vampire in the mix to make this a three-way, metaphysically speaking, that’s not as important.”

“I am glad that Jean-Claude calls only wolves.”

“So am I, because I think you would have been far more willing to compromise in ways that Richard wasn’t,” Micah said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I mean if Jean-Claude had needed a rat instead of awolf to call, well, Rafael just said it, he’s not conflicted about wanting power and being a wererat, so he would be closer to how Nathaniel is with you and Damian.”

“More power,” I said.

“And no room in your life for other people, maybe,” Micah said.

“I don’t understand.”

“Our king would not have allowed Jean-Claude more liberties than the Ulfric allows him,” Benito said, and he was angry enough that his beast flitted along my skin, but standing this close to Nathaniel, it didn’t bother me like it had before.

“Hush, Benito, there is no shame in loving who you love,” Rafael said.

Benito seemed to realize that he’d just insulted several people in the hallway by implying that guy-on-guy sex was shameful, because he tried to fix it. “I did not mean... what the Nimir-raj does is his own business and Nathaniel is Nathaniel. I just meant that... I...”

Claudia fought to turn her laugh into a cough.

“For the kind of power that Jean-Claude has now, I might have done many things years ago.”

I think Rafael had just admitted he’d been willing to have sex with Jean-Claude to cement a triumvirate with me and him. I think I was surprised, and then I remembered something that Richard had told us years ago.

“Richard said you were the one who urged him to come back to Jean-Claude and me once, that if you could have offered yourself in his place to keep us all safe, you would have done it.”

“Richard has thrown away more power than most of us in the supernatural community are ever offered,” Rafael said.

“You wouldn’t have thrown it away,” Micah said.

Rafael looked at him, and they had a long moment of understanding between them. I wasn’t sure exactly whatthey were understanding, but I knew that was what they were doing.

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