Page 17 of Rafael (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter 28)

“Only if the vampire makes you their human servant, or their animal to call, so you share their ageless immortality,” he said.

“If I make you my rat to call, I can’t promise I have any ageless immortality to share. I’m not a real vampire, I just share some of the powers of one.”

“I know, it is not for that reason I wish you to mark me.”

“You want the power,” I said.

He nodded. “I do.”

“It’s not that simple, Rafael.”

“Some of the people in your life are afraid that tying yourself to me will take time and attention from them,” he said.

I must have looked surprised, because he added, “Ihave spoken with Micah at length. He told me that some of your secondaries already feel they do not get enough of you.”

“I guess that’s another reason I thought about you sleeping with some of the other women. I thought that might take the pressure off the just-you-and-me dynamics and calm all the insecure people down,” I said.

“It is a good idea, Anita, but one thing I’ve learned dating crazy, passionate women is that logic and good ideas cannot reassure an insecure person. No matter what you do, it is never enough, because the insecurity is inside them and only they can fix it.”

“Wise words,” I said.

“I try, but I would like to leave wisdom behind now.”

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, smiling.

“Fuck me like you’re one of my crazy exes.”

I laughed.

“Then feed on me, feed on all the rats, take as much energy as you can.”

“You don’t want me to take that much,” I said.

“No, but take what you can, just in case.”

“I’ll have to alert everyone that I’m taking that big a feeding, so no one is driving a car or something where they need to concentrate,” I said.

“Benito has already sent out the text chain to let my people know.”

I could have argued that he should have asked me before the text went out, but I didn’t. He’d been proactive, I sort of liked that. Competency and confidence were sexy, and Rafael had both of those in spades.

5

WE GOT OURclothes off in a rush of hands and eager kisses, but once we got into the shower, it slowed down to hands gliding over and exploring smooth, wet skin.

Rafael drew back to gaze down at me, water running from his hair, down his face. I had to move back enough that I was in the void his body made in the pattern of the water drops so that the only water hitting me was a few stray drops as it poured over him.

“I want time with you, Anita. I’m not in the mood for a quickie,” he said, raising his voice a little over the sound of the water.

“Okay,” I said, “probably better not to hog the showers from everybody anyway.” I tried to make it a joke, but his face stayed solemn and the weight of emotions in his eyes was almost too heavy to lift.

“Unless you need to go to one of your other lovers?” He smiled at the end, but the only thing that lifted was the edges of his lips; his eyes and expression stayed heavy and closed down. Not in a hiding-his-thoughts-from-me way, but as if his thoughts were too dark to hide from me.

“I already answered this question, Rafael. No, no oneelse is expecting me. We’re all supposed to be working out or have plans with other people.”

“If you need to exercise more...”

I touched his lips with my fingers. He looked at me with eyes that looked like wounds, so full of defeat. What the hell was going on? Why was this fight different from all the others?

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