Page 25 of Matthew

The first thing Matt noted when he woke in the morning was how new he felt.

New. As if he’d just been born. Lying in bed under the covers, curled in the haven of muscled arms and legs, it was as if the world had just come to life. He had the sense they had passed out of pre-creation chaos and darkness to spark to color of the dawn.

He was truly alive, and it was wonderful.

It was only then he realized what had happened the day before. He’d made love with three men, and he hadn’t imagined the shadow of the monster watching, readying to strike. Not once had he asked them to stop for fear the malevolent ghost of his father could attack and destroy them. It had been him, Kom, Avir, and Masok only, and none of his nightmares had been present.

I’m free.

He opened his eyes to find Kom lying beside him, gazing at him. It was the careful, noncommittal regard the Nobek used when he waited to see if Matt was okay or if there was a storm to guide him through. It was his look of endless patience, ready to spring to the rescue and snatch Matt from the demons of the past.

Matt denied none of the love filling his heart, but let it blaze forth in a smile that stretched his lips and made his cheeks ache. Kom’s eyes widened, then he chuckled, his craggy features leant beauty as he answered Matt’s joy with his own.

Avir and Masok, on the other side of Matt, stirred. By the time they were awake enough to act, Kom had rolled on top of Matt after using the wetness from his cocks to lubricate the Earther’s. The Nobek rode him, enclosing him in the most luscious of embraces while the other two kissed him and whispered loving words. Again, they ushered him to ecstasy. Again, he spared no thought for what had haunted him during the last decade.

* * * *

Subject: Matthew Larsen

Session 4 Transcript

Presiding Therapist: Dr. Retel, psychiatrist; also present, Dr. T. J. Sanderson, psychologist and Earther trauma liaison

Dr: Retel: I’d like to consider where the issues you’ve faced started, Matt. When do you think your relationship with your father went wrong, or was there always a problem?

Matthew Larsen: I don’t remember a day when he didn’t demand I do better. One day, I was sitting at the kitchen table next to him. He’d brought home a book of the alphabet so I’d learn my letters, which I was having trouble with at school. He was angry because instead of repeating ‘A-B-C’ and so on, I’d list the pictures that went with them. Apple, bat, cat, dog, um, elephant, I think?

Dr. R: You did eventually learn the alphabet and how to read and write, however.

ML: There was a song my mother taught me where you’d sing it. You know it. (Matthew laughs and indicates Dr. Sanderson’s smile of recognition, proceeds to sing the song.)

Dr. R: You have a wonderful voice, Matt. Speaking of your mother…you indicated she died when you were seven.

ML: She was pregnant, and it was too much for her. They’d warned her when my twin and I were born she shouldn’t have more children. She and the baby died.

Dr. R: What a difficult loss for you to have gone through. When she was alive, what was her role? How did she respond when your father was angry because you weren’t learning quickly?

ML: She’d hug me later and tell me he was so tough because he wanted me to succeed.

Dr. Sanderson: She offered you no support in his presence?

ML: Sometimes she’d tell him I was doing my best. She mostly slept, though. She almost never felt well. When she did, she was still very weak.

Dr. R: What was his response when she said you were doing your best?

ML: He told her I had to wake up and work harder. The world only cared I do well, not that I tried to do well.

Dr. S: If I may, Dr. Retel. Matt, how did your father treat your mother?

ML: He could be rude. He snapped at her when he answered her questions. But he spoke the same way to everyone, so I don’t think he meant it to hurt her. I think it was just how he talked, without noticing. He loved her.

Dr. R: You’re sure of it despite how he spoke to her?

ML: If she was sick in bed, he constantly checked on her and asked what she needed, so he could get it for her. If he was busy, he told me to wait on her. Sometimes, instead of yelling at me for drifting off when I should have been paying attention, he’d say, “She’s so worried over you. If you work hard and learn, she’ll feel better. Don’t you want her better? Help me make her happy.” And he never let my uncle talk ugly to her or around her.

Dr. R: Your uncle? What was his name?

ML: Valter Larsen.

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