Page 48 of Carbon

The tears came now, thick and fast, making Angie’s limp form go all blurry. How I wished I could erase that vision of her from my mind, because now it would cloud every good memory I had of her.

“We need to call the police. I’ll stay until they come, but then I have to leave. This isn’t going to be good,trésor. Nothing about this is going to turn out good. But I need you to remember two things: Whatever evidence the police find, it’s bullshit, and also that I love you. I always have, and I always will.”

I didn’t know much, but I knew he spoke the truth. Ben wouldn’t have done this to Angie, and more importantly, he wouldn’t have done this to me.

“I’ll remember. But why are you talking like you’re leaving?”

“I have to.”

“Why can’t you stay and fight? I’ll fight for you. I have some money we can use, and—”

He silenced me with a finger over my lips. “Because I can’t fight from inside a jail cell, and that’s where I’ll end up. I’m going to find the man behind this and make him pay.”

“You know who did it?”

“I’m ninety percent sure I do.”

“Then you need to tell the police.”

“I already tried that once, and this is the result.”

I caught sight of Angie again and retched. Ben held my hair back as I puked bile over the carpet once more. “Please, don’t leave,” I spluttered. “We only just found each other.”

“If there was any other way, I’d take it. If I stay, you’ll be a target too, but if I leave, he’ll assume you’re disposable, just like all the women inhislife.”

“Are you coming back?”

“I wish I could, but I can’t. After this, I’ll always be running. Even if I can remove him from the picture, he’s got friends in all the wrong places.”

I heaved again, but nothing more came up. Instead, grief poured from me at the loss of the two people I loved most in one night. I needed Ben. Without him and Angie, I was nothing. “Please,” I tried one more time. “Please.”

“Just know I’ll always watch you from a distance, and if I ever see a chance to help, I’ll take it. But we can’t be together.”

I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. “But I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Ben lifted me over to the chair again and held my hand as he called the emergency services. Police and ambulance, although we both knew the latter was pointless.

“You should wait downstairs,” he said, but I clutched the seat as he tried to help me up.

“I’m not leaving her.”

“I’m so sorry,trésor.”

“I don’t understand. Why did this happen?”

“A while ago, I helped to put a man away for a crime, and he swore in the courtroom that he’d make me feel the same pain.” Ben closed his eyes and lost another shade of colour. “He wasn’t supposed to be released, but he’s behind it. There’s nobody else it would be. Shit, I don’t know what to do. What to say when the police get here.”

“I’ll tell them I found her, and when I screamed, you came to see what the matter was.”

“I hate the thought of you lying for me.”

“And I hate the thought of you going to prison.” Another thought struck me. “Do you think he’s still out there? On the estate, I mean.”

“I don’t know. If he took my keys two months ago, he’s been lurking for a while, and I didn’t fucking realise. Once or twice, I had a feeling someone was out there, but then I caught those damn burglars, and I thought that was it. This was my fault.”

“It wasn't!”

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