“Stop apologising. This was all on him.” My knees weakened as I pictured Angie’s body lying on that sofa, but I pushed the image away together with my tears. I could grieve later. For now, I needed to stay strong for Ben.
“I wish I’d done things differently. Been more careful.”
“You can start now. What if this plan to find Leroux goes wrong and you get hurt?”
He reached out and cupped my cheek with his hand. “I’ve got people supporting me now, and they’re the best in the world at this job. This’ll be over before you know it, you’ll see.”
I sank onto his knees and pressed my lips into the crook of his neck. “I’m scared,” I mumbled against his warm skin.
“Me too,” he whispered back. “But this is nothing compared to the fear I felt when I thought I’d lost you.”
32
Over the next two weeks, the crazy world I’d been thrust into the middle of became the new normal. Life at Albany House settled into a routine.
I didn’t hear a peep from my mother, but Dorothy texted every day to check I was okay, and Father showed his newly found caring side by calling a couple of times a week, meaning I felt both guilty for lying to him and sad because I couldn’t go home to visit.
“I’ve cut down on the trips abroad,” he told me. “After all these years, I’ve decided to start delegating more.”
“That’s good. You’ve always worked too hard.”
“Funny, I always thought the best thing I could do for my family would be to provide for them, but now...now I realise I should have given time rather than money.” His breath hitched. “I just wish I could turn back the clock, Gussie.”
Dammit, now I was tearing up as well. “You did your best.”
“But it wasn’t good enough. I know I can’t make up for the lost years, but do you think we could spend more time together?”
What he was really asking was whether I’d move back home. “How about we meet up for lunch soon? In the next week or two?”
“I’d like that.” Disappointment tinged his words. “Just call my sec...me. Call me when you’ve got some free time, and I’ll be there.”
“I will. How’s Mother?”
“She’s...difficult. I got her to speak to a counsellor, but after three sessions she refused to go back, and she’s not happy about the men Blackwood have sent to keep an eye on things.”
“What men?”
“They said there’s a chance Davies might come back here.”
Not Beau, but Leroux. Bloody Leroux. Why couldn’t he do the honourable thing for once and hand himself in? Then I could start repairing the ties with my family, and I wouldn’t need to spend the day on tenterhooks waiting for Ben to come...back. I almost said home. I was feeling more comfortable at Albany House than I had a right to.
We still hadn’t spoken about the future. What would happen if—when—Leroux finally did get caught? Father hated Ben right now, and Mother didn’t like him much before, so I could hardly move him into the annex with me to play happy families, could I?
And even if my family did accept him, I wasn’t sure I wanted to move back to Shotley Manor. I’d had a taste of freedom now, and I liked it. Maybe Ben and I could rent a flat together? Sapphire’s royalties were still coming in, and Angelica’s death had resulted in a huge sales bump as the morbidly curious picked up copies of the books to see what all the fuss was about.
“Penny for them?” Emmy said, sitting down beside me at the kitchen table.
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“Try me. I’m a good listener.”
“I’m just thinking about the future. You know, where Ben and I can live. Once this is over, he won’t have anywhere to go, and I’m not sure I want to go back home.”
“Then don’t. But don’t make any hasty decisions. You can stay here for a while if you want.”
“Really?”
“Ruth’ll enjoy the company. Most of us will be heading back to the States as soon as we get Leroux. Black’s feet are itchy already. I keep telling him to go home if he wants to, but he won’t because Gideon’s here. It’s kind of sweet.”