Page 17 of Flirting with Sunshine

I rubbed his back with one hand and gripped him hard with the other. He eventually stilled in my arms, and I wondered if the headiness of the moment was weighing down on him. His body disconnected from mine, his head moving away from my chest, and he looked at me, a mixture of so many emotions in his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out, his eyes oscillating between my own and my mouth.

I shouldn’t have wanted to kiss him in that moment, but it was all I thought about.

“For what?” I asked.

“For what I’m about to do,” he answered.

Before I could question him again, his lips were on mine. My entire body melted into his. Just a few seconds ago, I’d been holding him together, but now, he was clearly the one holding me in place.

His kiss was soft and hard, all at once. Possessive and punishing. He breathed into me, against me, sounds coming from somewhere deep inside of him that only made me want him more. His hand gripped me firmly as his tongue explored my mouth, claiming every inch of space. And just as quickly as it had begun, it stopped.

Tony hopped up from the couch, taking my body with him, and separated himself from me. He took a few steps back and held his hand in the air to stop me from approaching. “Shit, Ava. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, and he took all the wind out of my sails.

I loved that he’d done that. I wanted him to do it again.

“You’re allowed to move on,” I said and instantly knew it was the wrong thing to say by the way his expression shifted into something resembling anger.

“You need to leave,” he demanded, and I stood firmly in place. “Now, Ava. Go.”

And just like that, I’d ruined the moment. There would be no going back. So, I did as he’d asked without complaint or another word.

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT

TONY

What the hellwas I thinking?

I’d practically mauled Ava’s face, not even giving her a chance to say she didn’t want it, before I was all over her, taking that perfect mouth with mine. Kissing her was like bathing in the sun—you wanted it to cover you completely.

It was the first moment of true joy I’d felt since Lydia died. Which was why I stopped giving in to it. In that brief respite, I wasn’t thinking about how badly I felt about the accident or the fact that my wife was dead because I was a piss-poor driver.

Even though I’d just been talking about exactly that, it all disappeared the moment my lips touched Ava’s. My only thoughts were of her and how damn good she tasted. And how I wanted more of her…allof her. My mind instantly went to the bedroom, and I imagined us there, her body naked beneath mine as we made love.

Guilt poured through me.

How could I have been crying over my dead wife one second and thinking about sleeping with another woman in the next? What kind of person did that?A monster—that was who.

I was filled with so much self-loathing when Ava told me that I was allowed to move on. My gut reaction was to get pissed, defensive. Logically, my brain knew that she was right. Of course she was. But emotionally, her words stung like sharp razor blades to the flesh. Maybe I didn’t want to move on. Had she ever thought about that? Moving on meant letting go, and that wasn’t something I was willing to do.

I’d basically kicked her out of the house. Honestly, I’d expected more of a fight out of her, but when she didn’t give it, I felt like shit. Barley followed her to the front door and was currently staring out of it, no doubt watching her go.

A part of me knew I should be chasing after her, but the rest of me craved the solitude. I needed a moment to recover. To process everything that I’d admitted and the feelings I’d given in to. And honestly, what it all meant.

I probably should have started packing my things right then and there to hightail it out of town, but I didn’t. I stayed put.

The next morning, I didn’t fish. I tried to sleep in, but my body refused, waking me up well before the sun, like usual. When I couldn’t sit in bed, watching TV, any longer, I got up, made some coffee and eggs, and grabbed Barley’s leash.

If Ava had noticed my absence down at the marina, she didn’t let on. I guessed I’d half-expected her to show up at my front door, demanding to know where I was. She seemed like the type.

Barley and I walked in the opposite direction of the water, hoping to avoid anyone who might ask too many questions. That was the thing about really small towns—keeping people out of your business was hard. Everyone wanted to know e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, and they didn’t hesitate to stick their noses in it, so to speak. I had no doubt that the majority of people had heard about Liam being back and what he’d said by now. Word traveled lightning fast here.

“Tony, is that you?” a man’s voice called out in the distance.

I groaned to myself before giving Barley a look. This was exactly what I didn’t need. I really shouldn’t have left the cottage at all. Barley would have been fine with running around the small yard.

“Morning,” I said as Barley and I approached Mr. and Mrs. Stanley.

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