Page 16 of Fools in Love

“Why is that so hard to believe?”

“There are a hundred dating sites online,” he started explaining, as if I didn’t know this already. “Everyone I know has at least one on their phone.”

“Do you?” I asked bitterly, realizing that I wanted him to tell me no. Something in me didn’t want Robbie to be the kind of guy who had an online dating profile.

“Definitely not me.”

I felt my chest literally sigh with relief, although I wasn’t entirely sure why. It wasn’t like he was overly nice to me or even acted like he was interested in me.

“Well, those sites are all filled with the exact same people. My clients get tired of seeing the same faces over and over again. They’re looking for something more genuine, someone who wants what they want. And they don’t think they can find that online. They’ve tried.”

Robbie pushed up from the bed and made his way across to where I was sitting. He sat down next to me, his leg touching mine. “I can see the appeal in that.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m not trying to offend you.” He sounded so defeated.

I forced a fake smile. “Yet here we are.”

Out of nowhere, the fire alarms started blaring, scaring the ever-loving crap out of me. Robbie looked at me, his eyes wide, like this was the last thing he’d expected, and he jumped up.

“I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

“We haven’t even picked a date yet,” I shouted, like any of that truly mattered in a moment like this.

“I’m off on Friday. Let’s do it then,” he said before disappearing.

I ran after him, watching as he slid down the pole I hadn’t even noticed before. The guys below moved like a well-rehearsed dance, pulling on their boots, fastening their jackets, and hopping onto the fire truck before it pulled out of the garage, sirens wailing.

And just like that, I was alone. I sat there, dumbfounded at how quickly it had all happened. And a little scared, if I was being honest. It was in that moment that the force of what Robbie did for work really hit me. Of course, I had known he was a fireman, but seeing him in action, knowing that he was heading toward something that could potentially hurt him…rattled me.

Every single time he left the safety of this station and got onto that truck, there was a possibility that he might not come back.Ever.The walls were a stark reminder of that fact. And with every frantic beat, my heart was letting me know that it didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

I fired off a text, asking Robbie to call me when he got back from wherever he’d gone to, regardless of the time. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep without knowing that he was okay.

That should have been my first clue that I had something resembling actual feelings for the guy…but it wasn’t. Apparently, I was good at lying to myself and pretending like any sane person would want to make sure that he was okay under the circumstances.

I also convinced myself that it was completely normal to sit, staring at the phone until it rang with his name on the screen.

What if it never did again?

OBLIGATION OR SOMETHING MORE

ROBBIE

Icalled April that night after I got back to the firehouse and showered, like she’d asked me to in a text message. Trust me, I almost hadn’t. But she sounded so relieved to hear from me when she answered on the first ring that my heart honestly felt like it leaped in my chest and spun the fuck around.

The idea that she might have been worried about my well-being and safety while I was on the job was such a foreign notion that I couldn’t even work up the nerve to ask her about it. I couldn’t take being wrong. The thought alone was nice enough without making her say it out loud. Could she really care about me?

I hadn’t felt valued or worthy of love in what seemed like forever. Maybe I never truly had. My parents didn’t count. I was so used to feeling mistreated by women that the idea of April actually giving a shit about me had never even crossed my mind.

So, when I hung up the phone, I had an unfamiliar feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t sure what it meant, so I tried my best to ignore it and pretend like it wasn’t there. I figured it would dissipate while I slept and be gone by the time I woke up. If it didn’t, I’d chalk it up to nerves. What else could it be?

I sat in the back of the limo, feeling like an idiot as we cruised up Seventh Avenue toward what I assumed would be April’s residence. Only we didn’t stop in front of an apartment building at all.

She’s having me pick her up at her office?

I forgot that most people didn’t have Fridays off of work, so this actually made sense. Even if it was a little late in the evening, of course April would still be here. As I stifled a slight laugh at my little workaholic, it caught in my throat at the sight of her walking out of the revolving glass door.

---