Page 32 of Pleading Innocence

“Why? Because it’s just sex and you don’t care about her that much?” he asked.

“It’s not just sex,” I said. Something in my voice must have caused him to look up at me, because there was passion in my words.

“It’s because I care about her. I cared about my ex too, but it was a different dynamic. When Tiffany gave herself to me, we’d only just met that night. I wasn’t delusional enough to think that sleeping with her and being the one to take her virginity would make her mine. I knew what it was, and she seemed to know what it was, but I decided that whatever happened, whether it was a one night stand or not, she was offering up something to me that was about trust and I didn’t want to betray that trust.

“I committed to making her experience pleasurable, and if she chose to be with me again, to make every moment with her pleasurable because I cared about her—first as my best friend’s sister and then as more,” I said, cutting off my words there before I said something about my feelings that I didn’t quite understand myself.

“Is that what it is for you, though?” I asked him. “Just sex?”

He paused.

“It started off that way. Dude, you know me. You’re upstanding and all that. But well, with me, what you see is what you get. No promises, just a good time. But she’s hard to shake, man. It’s definitely more than just sex. I just don’t know what it is yet,” he said, tapping his foot on the carpet. This conversation about feelings and potential ‘commitment’ in whatever sense was making him uncomfortable.

“I will admit that when I found out she liked you too, it bruised my ego for a bit. Was ready to go caveman and compete. I had to reel myself in,” I said with a chuckle.

“Oh, I saw it.” He laughed. “I won’t lie, I had a little bit of jealousy too which was strange. Maybe I even still do in some ways,” he admitted.

“Well, look at you being vulnerable,” I teased.

“It’s the alcohol.” He grinned. “So…uh, what do you think? Think she’s going to go for the double penetration?” he asked. There was something in his voice that sounded a little bit like a tremor.

“You scared, dude?” I asked, laughing. “You know you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, right?”

“I’m not scared. I’m excited and I’m nervous. Are you kidding me? This has been a fucking fantasy that no girl I’ve fucked has ever been brave enough to attempt. But of course I’m a little bit nervous, aren’t you?” he asked, filling up his whiskey glass once more. There was wine on the table before him for Tiffany if she wanted something to help her loosen up.

“Yeah, I’m nervous! Honestly though, I just can’t wait to see her. Whether we do the double penetration or not, it’s up to her. I know it’ll be fun regardless. It’s been a whole week—” I started, but the pushing of the door had my heart almost leaping out my chest, first in fright, then excitement as she stepped into the room. I’d asked the front desk to give her an extra key when she arrived.

My heart fell to my toes at the sight of her. I wasn’t sure what to expect tonight but I was prepared for whatever. All I knew for sure was that I was aching for her.

“Hi,” she said, smiling.

Anthony’s response reminded me that he was in the room. I’d forgotten that there was anyone else for a few seconds.

“Hey,” I said, watching as she walked toward us.

“Are you guys okay?” she asked.

Anthony and I looked at each other then back at her. “Yeah, yeah, why do you ask?” I said with a rattle in my throat.

“You both look like you’ve just seen a ghost. You guys look about as nervous as I do,” she said with a sheepish smile, tucking her hair behind her ear as she sat down on the king-sized bed I was lying on.

Anthony breathed out a laugh and so did I.

“We were just talking about how nervous we were before you walked in here. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad thing that we’re all nervous,” he said, walking toward the bed to sit next to her.

“Yeah, we don’t have to rush anything.” I scooted closer toward her. She shivered as my breath touched her neck. Stroked my ego a little bit, but I backed off to give her breathing space. I wanted us all to be comfortable. “Nothing even has to happen tonight.”

She spun around to look at me with a stare that asked me if I was serious. “We can just talk, if that’s all you want,” I said, running my finger along the frame of her heart shaped face.

“You know that’s not all I want. But if that’s all you want…” She turned to look at Anthony with questioning eyes.

“Oh, that’s not all I want,” he said, running a finger up her thigh. She trembled.

“I’m just saying that if something happens tonight,” I brushed her hair off her shoulder to place a kiss on the bone there, “we don’t have to rush into double penetration if you’ve changed your mind. We can tap out at any time.” I ran my hand over her arm, peeling off the cardigan she’d unbuttoned.

She nodded. “What about you guys?” she asked, leaning into our touch. “Do you both want to penetrate me at once?”

My breath escaped against her neck, and I groaned.

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