Page 29 of There I Find Rest

Kim nodded, taking that in. She’d noticed yesterday that Griff looked at Charlotte with adoring eyes, but she hadn’t seen them together long enough to realize that Charlotte didn’t return the sentiment.

“Are you sure they’re not related somehow? Griff just doesn’t seem like a short-order cook kinda guy, let alone a great baker.”

“I know, right?” Violet said, lifting her eyebrows and looking over the forkful of coffee cake that she held in the air. “I think everyone was shocked when he got off his bike, hung his helmet up, and decided to stay. Charlotte most of all, but I feel like it was love at first sight for Griff.” Violet sounded a little bit dreamy and romantic. Which made Kim wonder about Violet’s own past.

“You’re not married?” she asked, with what she thought sounded like casual interest. She appreciated Violet coming, bringing the coffee cake, making her feel welcome, and giving her some details on the various people in town. It made her feel like a part of the community. Small towns cared about each other, and part of caring about someone was knowing what they were doing. She supposed it was termed small-town “gossip,” but she didn’t think about it as malicious, evil, sinful gossip. It was the kind of gossip that helped people know about each other, not the kind of gossip that spread ugly rumors and nasty stories about other people.

“No. But I’ve always loved kids. I taught school in inner-city Detroit for a while. And Lake Erie is pretty, but there’s just something wild about Lake Michigan that I love. Plus, I grew up in Strawberry Sands, so it was natural to come back here. I took a bit of a pay cut. To say the least.”

“Sometimes we have to in order to make our lives work. Money isn’t everything.” Kim meant that. But it was nice to have money in order to pay one’s bills. She worried about that a little bit. She wasn’t used to being the sole breadwinner, the only person providing for another human being.

Having to take care of herself was a completely different story than to have to take care of herself and another life. Todd hadn’t been much of a husband, but he at least had been someone that she’d been able to say was beside her, and he gave the illusion of support; even if he wasn’t around much, he helped pay the bills, anyway.

“So is that little church on the hill an actual church? Or is it closed?” Kim asked, changing the subject and pushing the thoughts of Todd aside. She had to get over it. He was a part of her life, but that part was in the past. And yes, she thought she was going to have a lifetime relationship with him, and she still wasn’t quite over the pain of losing those girlhood dreams, the idea that she would grow old with the same person that she’d been young with once, but she was working on it. And eventually, whatever her life became was what she would accept and just pray that God could use her where she was. Whatever that looked like.

“It is! And we would love to have you. Pretty much everyone in town goes. Our pastor is really good, and he does preach from the Bible, but it’s also a great time to get together. You’ll meet almost all of your neighbors there.”

“So it’s like the community building?” Kim asked, having noticed that Strawberry Sands was too small to have one.

“Exactly. The community building, any kind of town clubs, or anything like that. It all happens at church. Which is kind of funny,” she laughed a little, “since the church is so small. Although there is a basement, thankfully, or we wouldn’t be able to eat together in the winter. It’s way too cold outside, as you probably know. You grew up in Blueberry Beach with Iva May, right?”

Kim nodded, loving that Violet knew her history. “I think I’m a little bit older than you, but we were practically neighbors growing up.”

“My school was much smaller than yours. My elementary school anyway. They’ve combined all the high schools into one big building and ship the kids in to a central location. I don’t really like that, but I guess it’s more cost-effective or something.” She shrugged, and Kim got the idea that it really didn’t matter since she didn’t have children.

It was something Kim was going to have to think about.

“So do you have any business advice for me?” she asked, glancing at her watch and realizing that Violet was going to have to leave soon. “I’m nervous. I’ve never owned my own business. And the idea that there will be horses to take care of and expenses and feed and I’ll have to depend on being able to generate income... It’s scary.”

“I don’t think you can think about all of that. You’re going to try your best.” Violet shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe you’ll make it, maybe you won’t. But you’ll do your best. And I can guarantee you that the town will be behind you. They’ll support you whatever you do. So you know that there is that.”

“That’s a nice thought. But I want to make it work myself. I guess, it does take a little pressure off when you think that all you can do is do your best. Still, it’s scary.”

“So you just hold tight to God’s hand and take the jump. That’s what I did when I opened up the daycare. I didn’t have any kids signed up when I opened the doors. In fact, I think it was two weeks before I got my first kid. I did a lot of praying those two weeks. That’s one thing about owning a business, you have a tendency to get closer to God.” Violet paused. “Or become an alcoholic. One of the two.”

“I can’t have alcohol right now, so I guess that limits my options. It was the one I would have chosen anyway,” Kim said as Violet grinned and nodded.

“Me too. That’s just life, you know? Things work out, things don’t. It’s really not about us. We think it is, and we hear it is all the time, but it’s not about our success necessarily, it’s about living for the Lord. We get so confused, and that’s where a lot of our stress comes from. We put it on ourselves, but God doesn’t demand that we’re successful in the world’s eyes, He doesn’t even demand that we’re monetarily successful. He does tell us that we have to work, because the Bible says that a man who won’t provide for his family is worse than an infidel, but he doesn’t say that our businesses or anything that we try always has to work out.”

“No, I guess it’s just the concern about what other people are going to think about you.”

“Exactly. And that’s not supposed to bother us at all. Although it does. It’s all about the show and the way things look, and we forget to be concerned about the deeper things of the heart. And we’re even less concerned about just allowing God to guide us, even if that involves failure. We act like failure is this truly terrible thing, but sometimes we have to fail in order to succeed, in order for God to grow us, use us, humble us, and increase our character however He wants.”

Kim nodded, thinking hard. She supposed the “failure” of her marriage was a great case in point. She hated that it hadn’t worked out. It made her sad even now thinking about it. Even though she didn’t really want to be with her husband, it was hard to think that she put so much effort into her marriage and still had failed.

But she knew that Violet was right. God could use her where she was despite what looked like a failure standing in front of her.

“Oh my goodness. The time flew by so quickly. Thanks so much for inviting me in, and it was really great to talk to you, but I need to run.” Violet stood up, and Kim stood more slowly after her.

“I appreciate the coffee cake. If you see Griff, tell him it was delicious.”

“I’ll do that. Sometimes they bring me leftovers from the diner for the kids in the evening. And once all the kids are gone, sometimes I go in for a quick supper, if I’m too tired to cook.”

“Yeah, I know all about that, and I only had one.”

Kim walked slowly with Violet to the front door while Violet chattered about the town and how welcoming people were and Kim’s pregnancy and asked her about due dates.

By the time Violet left, Kim felt like they were on the way to becoming really good friends. Which, she had to admit, made her happy, since it made her feel less alone.

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