Page 19 of Gingerbread Hearts

“Jake, I asked you how your dinner was with Violet? Did you have a good time?”

“Yes.” I nod and start to eat.

Grams had made scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast. Simple but filling. She must have heard me putzing about upstairs because it’s warm despite her already have finished her breakfast.

In between bites I decide to risk my gossipy Grams. “How did you know you were in love with Gramps? Truly in love, Grams, not just the whole enjoy each other’s company type of feelings?”

Her brows furrow and her lips purse together. She’s deep in thought for a brief moment. Then, a wide grin spreads across her face, easily shedding years off her age. Her eyes get this faraway look, and she replies.

“It was the silliest thing, but it meant the world to me. I had always joked that my home was where my books were. And while your Gramps was deployed abroad, he mailed me books. He said that his home would be where his books were too.” She takes a sip of her coffee before continuing. “It was cheesy, but it’s when I realized I couldn’t imagine my home, or my future, being anything without him included.”

“I see.” I continue to eat as she watches. We both sit in silence for a bit.

“Love isn’t complicated, dear.” She pats my hand before getting up and taking her empty cup to the sink. “I need to leave to go meet with my book club, but I’ll leave you with this thought. When you picture your future now, who’s there?”

I stay at the table, drinking coffee and mulling over my thoughts. Questions flit through my mind as I try to really think about my future. In five years would I be happy at the law firm, being partner and living in the same apartment? Would I be happy working late as the others went on vacation with their families? In ten years would I have my own family?

Right now, in five years I want Violet baking in our own kitchen, with flour on her face and begging me to taste her latest dessert. In ten years, I want to be on a tropical vacation with Violet right beside me. Complaining about the sun and missing the snow at Christmas. Maybe even having a kid together and babyproofing our home.

I don’t want to miss her. I want her there, by my side no matter how far I try to think about the future. She’s there in every scenario.

Is this really love?

Violet shut down at the suggestion of even moving to the city, how would she feel about me telling her how I truly feel?

I don’t want to lose her completely, nor do I want to tarnish this time we’ve spent together any more than I may have already with my harsh words. For now, I’ll keep my feelings to myself. I’ll try to give her some time. We still have a couple of days until the holiday party. I want them to be happy and full of laughter.

And love.

FIFTEEN

JAKE

Violet and I pushed past the argument as if nothing happened. I met her a few times at the bakery to walk her home. Even if it’s just spending twenty minutes with her to show I can be respectful of her schedule, I wanted to be with her. I admitted I thought she was crazy to want to walk so much in this snowy weather, but she claims it helps her stay focused during the chaotic bakery schedule this time of year.

One night we got pizza together. It was a simple, non-fuss evening. With the upcoming holiday party orders deadlines, she couldn’t do anything with me past six at night. She wanted to have early nights for plenty of sleep.

It’s odd to be on the other side of things. I’m usually the one who tells women that dates don’t work well with my schedule, that I don’t have any extra time for them.

But with Violet, it’s different. I’m happy to spend any tiny bit of time with her, on her agenda. I must come home with a smile plastered to my face because my grandmother has asked me about “the woman who’s stolen my heart.” I brush her off, not disclosing anything more. She wants me to settle down, but I’m still not ready to tell Violet how I really feel.

***

It’s finally the day of the Christmas party. I’ve been busy helping my grandmother by putting up decorations, inside and outside, and running errands. All of this holiday party prep means that I had no time to swing by the bakery to see Violet. I couldn’t have quick chat or even grab coffee together.

I dress in a light grey suit with a festive, fun holiday themed tie. Sally gave me the gift before I left for Kastle Harbor. It’s dark green with tiny candy canes and gingerbread men on it. Before Violet came into my life, I thought the tie was just a gag gift for parties. But now, as I stare into mirror, working the silk fabric into a Windsor knot, I decide I care about what she thinks. I decide to wear it because I know she’ll like the cookies on it. In this moment I find myself missing Violet’s company.

Might be time to take the leap.

Kastle Harbor is just a train ride away. Would it really be so crazy to settle down with a woman? Besides, it’s not just any woman.

It’s Violet.

My cheeks pull tightly, a grin forming at the corners, as I think over our sporadic dates together. The chemistry is there, even without the sexual encounters. I’m a partner now at work. I have more power, more money, and most importantly, more time.

I can make my schedule more ideal. I’m sure Sally would like some extra time off too, she’s always talking about what vacations she wishes her and her husband could take if I didn’t work so much.

I smooth the tie and do a final check to make sure I have everything. I had offered to drive Violet from her home to the bakery and then to the party. I figure since she’s bringing baked goods with her, I would help make the trip as simple and effortless as possible. I send her a quick text to let her know I’m on my way, then grab my coat and head out.

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