Page 30 of Beautiful Envy

Brooks watched me, concern washing over his features. “Hey, I’m sure if he could, he’d get in touch. He doesn’t know your number or address, right?”

I nodded, realizing how dumb I was being. I couldn’t tell Brooks how I felt; it always felt like Maddox intrinsically knew where I was. We’d never needed addresses or phones before. We just found our way to one another.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m being silly.”

“No, you’re not. Could you leave a message on that database you mentioned?”

My eyes shot up to his, a smile growing. Excitedly, I hugged him, almost falling into his lap in my exuberance.

“Oof,” he said, chuckling.

“You’re a genius, Brooks. Thanks. Seriously. Most men wouldn’t be so kind to help me find an old boyfriend.”

“He wasn’t just a boyfriend, though, was he?”

I shook my head, dropping my eyes. “No. He wasn’t. How are you okay with this?”

He sighed, his thumb coming up to cup my cheek. “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. Is now a good time?”

“Absolutely. Let me just leave this first before I forget.”

His ears were a little red, but he nodded, letting me sit back on the bed. I signed back into the site, leaving a message on our old message board.

Rosebud: I took a trip to visit a friend. The air tastes too of envy, Darling. How everyone always responds to summer is killing me.

I chuckled at my nonsense message but knew he’d get it. It was the MCD code, after all, to use the first letter of each word. Hopefully he would understand it from there. I sat the tablet down and scooted closer to Brooks.

“Did you want to talk here?” I asked, grabbing his hand.

“Yeah. It works.” He swallowed, his eyes roaming my face. I smiled, hoping to encourage him.

“What I’m going to say might sound crazy, but I hope you’ll hear me out.” I nodded, rubbing my thumb across his palm. “Before I met Grayson and Waylon, I never fit in. I was always on the outside, never belonging. I grew up in foster care and was shuffled from home to home. When I turned eighteen, I was given a bus ticket and two hundred dollars. I had no idea what I was going to do. I found an ad in a paper for a rodeo school. I’d always loved horses, so I thought I’d give it a shot. I met Grayson after one show. He had been there to promote one of the brands. I was sitting alone at the bar, trying to get up the nerve to talk to a girl.”

He chuckled, shaking his head at the memory.

“We got to talking, and I realized he was one of the first people I didn’t feel awkward around. Grayson just has that way about him. He makes everyone feel comfortable. We exchanged numbers, and I promised to reach out if I was ever in the area. When I graduated from rodeo school, I felt more lost than before I'd started. I was on the road, constantly traveling from rodeo to rodeo, and I felt so alone. One night, when I was feeling really low, I messaged Grayson. From there, our friendship grew. He doesn’t know this, but he saved me. He helped me feel like I belonged. I eventually came through town and met Waylon. He became like a big brother to me instantly. He taught me how to drive a motorcycle and everything about them.”

He smiled down at me, pure happiness radiating through his eyes.

“When they asked me if I wanted to be part of the Brotherhood, I didn’t hesitate. I felt like I belonged here. Something I’d been searching for my whole life. Rodeo is a job for now, but these guys are my brothers for life.”

“I know what you mean. It’s what I love about the MC life. People outside of it don’t get it. But I do. There’s nothing more powerful than that feeling of family and belonging. It was one of the hardest parts of having to leave it. I didn’t just lose my dad, but my road family too.”

“So this might not sound so crazy to you then,” he started, clearing his throat. “There used to be a fourth member of our Brotherhood. Jackson. He was closer to Waylon’s age. They’d grown up together and were close. When he left, it created this void in us, Waylon the most.”

“Why did he leave?” I asked, curious.

“I’m getting there, sweetheart.” He smiled at me, making my insides warm. I mimed zipping my lips, making him chuckle.

“Jackson met a woman he wanted to make his old lady. He didn’t know how to do that and be in the club. Ours is a bit different in that we only have a few of us who are actual members. Some guys in town and the next hang out at the local bar and will ride with us on occasion. The four of us shared everything like you’ve probably seen. We shared the bills, meals, and chores. We shared our problems and dreams. Jackson didn’t know how to fit his new dream into that model. So, he eventually left. You’re in his room, actually.”

I looked around but couldn’t find any traces of the man who’d been there.

“While we understood why he left, it was a hard blow. One night, the three of us were drinking and talking. We were trying to find a solution, one where we didn’t end up in the same situation. None of us wanted to leave the others. I joked that, as a group, we’d be the perfect man for one woman. I had the sweet side, Grayson the smooth side, and Waylon the protector side. I’d thrown it out there as a joke, but then we all started thinking about it and realized it was the perfect solution. If we could all fall in love with the same woman, we wouldn’t have to break up our Brotherhood.”

I blinked, not having expected that explanation.

“So, you’re saying that if I date you, then I can only be long-term if I’m willing to date the others?”

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