Page 16 of Breakaway

My hands felt tingly as I tried to gather my thoughts. There was too much rushing through me, and I couldn’t lay it out like Fletcher often did.

“I thought this was what you wanted? To return to playing professionally?” he asked, confused.

“It is. It was. I…” I pressed my eyes shut tight; my hand gripped the comforter.

“Wasn’t coaching just a filler? Something to do until you could re-sign?” he questioned. There wasn’t any judgment, only curiosity.

“Yes. But it’s become something more than just a stopping place. I have a home here and a girl I love. There’s a whole family of people I care about.”

“I’m happy you have those things, Reed. Really, I am. I guess the question then is whether you can have that and hockey? Do you only have those things there, or are they transferable?”

I blew out a breath. I wanted to say yes, but fear gripped me. Was it only here?

“Listen, I know I’ve called out of the blue and dropped a lot on you. Give it some time and think it over. We’re having some other guys come in for a tryout this week. You’re just at the top of our list. How’s that?”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll think it over.”

“It’s good to hear you’re happy, Reed. I’ve been waiting until that day you met someone who’d be worth dropping your guard for.”

“Thanks, Coach.” I gave a dry chuckle, his words causing more emotion than expected.

“Have a good night, Cole. Talk soon.”

“Later.”

The call disconnected, and silence returned to my room. My brain whirled with thoughts, all of them too overwhelming to decipher. Lady Sterling trotted into my room, meowing at me loudly as she vaulted onto the bed. She walked right up to me and jumped onto my chest. An oof left me as her weight settled on me.

Lady Sterling huffed at me like she found my sound offensive. She kneaded my chest as she found a comfortable spot, ignoring me until she was settled. Her eyes stared at me like she was peering into my soul. My hand stroked down her back, her soft gray fur a soothing sensation under my hand.

“What do you think I should do, Lady?”

The cat in question stared at me with indifference, lifting her paw as she licked it and effectively dismissed me. Chuckling, I could appreciate the temperament of the cat. Lady Sterling didn’t bullshit, and I liked that about her. I zoned out as I stroked her fur, as my mind played through a bunch of different scenarios.

What would it look like if I stayed? What would happen at the end of the year?

If I left, would things fall apart?

What would my mom tell me to do?

What did I want to do if there were no consequences?

No matter how many questions and outcomes I ran through my head, I could never find the one that felt right. Too many pieces were missing. This wasn’t a decision I could make on my own. There would be too many other people affected by this that I’d need to loop them in. It was terrifying to think my future was in the hands of others, something I’d never considered before.

But if I was honest with myself, it also felt nice to be part of a unit and need input from others. I didn’t have to make this decision on my own. The consequences, whether positive or negative, would be shared among us all. Just like it had with Fletcher, Dax, and Henley. I’d learned from the other two guys’ mistakes in hiding things and knew I had to be open about this. A smug smile crossed my lips at that thought.

“Hey.” Henley peeked her head into my room, her hair wet on her shoulders from her nightly shower. I glanced at the clock again as shock registered how late it must be. How long had I been zoned out?

“Hey.” I cleared my throat, my words croaking a bit. “You headed to bed?”

Henley bent her knee as she stood in the doorway, crossing one ankle over the other. Her bare leg teased me beneath the oversized t-shirt she had on. I loved when she wore any of our clothes, making me feel even more possessive of her. I gulped as I glanced down her legs, taking in her muscles and how they flexed.

“Probably soon. I just hadn’t seen you in a while, so I wanted to check on you.” I smiled at that, the movement so natural now I didn’t even notice anymore.

“That’s sweet of you. But to answer your question… I’m not sure how I am.” My brow furrowed as I replayed the conversation I’d had with Coach in my head.

“What is it?” Henley asked, stepping into the room and crawling across my bed toward me. My mind went blank for a second as I watched her. Swallowing, I brought my eyes back to her face. Her brown eyes were warm as she curled up next to me.

“Well, first, I spent the entire evening looking up that school but couldn’t find anything. I hate to say it, but…”

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