“Oh?”

I sigh. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess. “After my sister… he’s liked his babysitters just fine, but he hasn’t been as touchy with them as he is with you.”

“He seems to really crave that.”

“The therapist said that would happen. Kids need a lot of skin-to-skin contact, especially the younger they are. She said Ben might be a little young for his age in terms of… seeking comfort. She said if he has a blankie or a favorite stuffed toy, we should let him bring that wherever he goes, if that’s what he wants. Hug him as much as we can. That kind of thing.”

“He’s very young. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent at that age. My mother was… I was a bit older, when she left me, and it still felt like my entire world was destroyed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Lily shrugs. “It is what it is now. My grandmother took good care of me. She loved me. But how are you holding up? I know Ben lost his mother but… you lost your sister.”

I sit down on one of the many benches and Lily joins me. “It’s not easy to talk about.”

“No, you don’t seem like the chatty type.” She offers me a small, fond smile.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“Do what?”

“Be so angelic. It’s okay if you’re annoyed at me. I know I’m prickly. The others all welcomed you right in, and I haven’t.”

“Knox, I’m not trying to be anything, and I’m not doing anything I feel I have to do. You suffered a horrible loss and so did your nephew. I can understand how protective you are of him. I admire it. I’ve been where Ben is. I know how important it is to have someone like you in his life.”

That only ramps up, for me, the feeling that she is somewhat of an angel. Not that I tell her that. She seems a bit uncomfortable with the idea, like I’m placing her on a pedestal instead of just giving her the credit she’s due.

But I don’t think just anyone would be as patient and kind as Lily’s been to me and my family.

I clear my throat. “Anyway, yes. My sister and I were extremely close. Always had been. Monica was always there for me. I was practically born with a stick in my hand. Dad was the local hockey coach, and there was… pressure to succeed. Dad had been in the NHL for a few years himself, and he never got as far as he wanted to. Monica was always the one reminding me she was proud of me no matter what happened.”

“She sounds like my grandmother.”

“I’m glad you had her.”

“Thank you. I lost her a few years ago. It’s… it gets easier. But you never stop missing them.”

“Monica died a year and a half ago. Cancer.”

“My grandmother as well. But Monica must’ve been young, I’m so sorry.”

“She was. I took time off toward the end to go and be with her. We had hope at first, that the treatment would work, and I figured I’d just step in with Ben temporarily. But then it just kept getting worse, and the next thing I knew… I was Ben’s guardian.”

Lily puts her hand on my knee and squeezes gently. “I can’t even imagine how hard that was for you. I’m really honored that you’re letting me into your home, Knox.”

Many, many people have offered me their condolences. Most of the time, it’s annoyed me. It’s felt trite. I don’t want people’s pity.

But when Lily says it, it sounds raw and open. Like she truly understands that she can’t know how I feel, but she has enough pain of her own to take a guess. I don’t know what to say. How to express how much it means to me. My tongue feels like it’s stuck to the roof of my mouth.

“My father was never there,” Lily admits. “He died so young I don’t remember him. Mom couldn’t handle being a single mother, so she dropped me off with my grandmother and disappeared. I never saw her again. It was hard for me to open up after that. To make friends.”

“I never would’ve guessed.”

She smiles softly. “I’ve worked hard. I do have friends that I love, but it’s been a while since I’ve had a family. I hope you know that your family loves you, Knox, and loves Ben. You’re not alone.”

I nod and clear my throat. “Well, they’d better be there for me, the way I’m always saving their asses on the ice.”

Lily laughs. “Is that so?”