Page 100 of Choosing Their Omega

And now, as terrifying as it is, I’m starting to understand that sometimes… love is worth the risk.

Chapter 31

Lily

Ben’s still a bit sick the next day, but he’s doing better than yesterday.

I can remember the worry I felt when I first noticed him being sluggish, and how he admitted to me he didn’t feel well, and I pressed my hand to his forehead. But my concern was nothing compared to Knox. I could see his panic the second he entered the room.

I’m relieved that Ben is already doing better. Not just because I want him to feel better again and be happy, but also for Knox’s sake.

The Alphas have a game today and I wasn’t sure if Knox would want to go, or if he’d call out so that he could sit with Ben. But the others and I managed to convince him to go. The sex we had yesterday was amazing, but it’s not enough to completely get rid of Knox’s restless energy. Being on the ice will do him good, wear him down in the right way.

I stay home with Ben. I’m sad to be missing the game, but I know my Alphas will do well, and it’s better that I’m here.

Ben’s able to sit up in the afternoon and he wants toast along with soup, and he says his throat doesn’t hurt as much. He still has a bit of a fever, but I know it’ll break any moment. I’m just letting him sleep while I read him books when he’s awake.

He’s so sweet. I love him, so much that when I look at him as he sleeps in the bed it feels like my whole body hurts with it. I knew I wanted to be a mother someday, but I didn’t realize just how badly until I had this kid, and I know… how much I wish that he would view me as his mother. How much I want him to be my kid in every way that matters.

I’ll never replace the mother he lost. I know that, and I don’t want to. But I would love to be a new one for him.

I watch the hockey game on my phone while Ben’s asleep in bed beside me. Once it’s over, he wakes up, hungry, and I can feel his fever has finally broken.

“Lily? Am I okay?”

“Of course you are.” I kiss his forehead. “Would you like to eat at the kitchen table? I’ll make you a grilled cheese sandwich.”

“Yes, please.” He grabs his stomach. “I’m starving.”

I laugh. “I’ll bet you are. You’ve mostly had soup, a growing boy needs so much more than that!”

I pick him up and carry him downstairs. The Alphas will be home soon, now that the game is over. I know they won’t want to linger, Knox especially.

While Ben eats, I make myself some grilled cheese too. I’m also starving. It’s late, but I don’t make him go back to bed right away. He’s been sleeping so much I think he can stay up a little longer to see his uncles come home. Knox will appreciate it, I’m sure.

The front door opens right as I’m putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Ben grins as his uncles walk into the kitchen, although he’s not quite up to running to them and yelling.

“Hey, little man!” Lawson scoops him up and gives him a big hug, then immediately passes him to Knox. “I see you’re feeling better.”

“Loads better.”

“Did Lily take good care of you?” Knox’s voice is warm and tender, like he already knows the answer.

“Uh huh.” Ben is passed to Cruz and Miles, who also hug him.

Knox comes over to me and pulls me into his arms, kissing me tenderly. “Thank you,” he murmurs. “For taking such good care of him. I needed someone… more levelheaded than I was to do it. So thank you.”

“Of course. I love him. I’m always going to take care of him. I love him just like…”

I swallow.

I was about to say just like I love all of you.

This isn’t the first time I’ve almost said that. I nearly blurted it out in the voicemail I left for Knox too. It’s getting harder to keep it inside the more aware of it I become, my emotions roiling inside of me and growing larger and larger.

But it’s not time yet. I know that. I’m not… I’m not quite ready. Once I say them, I can’t take them back. I haven’t had a family in so long. I’m not sure if I’m secure enough to take that step.

Knox kisses me again, and I have the suspicion that he knows what I didn’t say.

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