Page 56 of Choosing Their Omega

Ben doesn’t seem to have noticed any change in me. He’s just happy I’m home. I guess when you’re a toddler, that’s how simple it all is to you. The person you love is back, and life’s normal again.

It’s not the same for me, though.

My senses all seem heightened. Even just sitting and playing Candyland with Ben, I feel like I’m buzzing. It’s like my body is brand-new and I have to relearn how to live in it. It’s all so big and so much.

Everything is louder, and smells are stronger. I feel like I could pick Ben out of a massive crowd at the mall, and thank god if that’s true, because the idea of losing sight of him for even a second has me wanting to panic.

This whole Omega thing is really going to take some getting used to, though. It’s a whole new world, and I feel like I’m still stumbling through it. I love that the Alphas—my Alphas, maybe, my brain reminds me—are there for me. Katherine is there for me, if I ever needed to call her with questions.

But at the end of the day, this is my body. There are some adjustments I can only do on my own. Things that nobody else can really do for me.

Ben grins as he moves his token forward. “Your turn!”

I focus back in on the game and push aside my worried thoughts. Ben’s what’s important. Seeing his sweet, joyful face soothes me.

We’ve just about finished the game when the front door opens and I get hit in the face with four intoxicating scents all at the same time.

I feel like I was suddenly plunged underwater. No, that’s not right. This is fire, burning me from the inside out with desire. I want to start panting, I want to spread my legs, I want to climb them like they’re trees.

Ben gets to his feet with a cheer and hurries out of the play room to give them all hugs. The men shower after practice, but I have a sudden vision of them not doing that, and it feels like I’m going to melt with how much I want to do something insane like lick the sweat off their bodies.

I’ve read plenty of sex in my romance novels, and I’ve read about the main characters going crazy for each other. But nothing I’ve read could ever really prepare me for what it is to feel all of that.

I breathe deeply and get to my feet. I need to take a break. I can’t say hi to the men right now, not like this. I’d probably just go straight to trying to rip their clothes off, which would be insanely embarrassing. Even if they would be into it, and I think after last night with Lawson they would… I’d still feel humiliated later. I’m a whole person, I’m not just a slave to my lust.

I move blindly out of the other door to the play room, the one that leads away from the front door and more toward the back of the house, and blindly fumble for some place to escape to.

A door opens for me and I step inside, closing it between me and sagging against it. It’s weirdly dark in here.

My eyes adjust and I realize I stepped into a closet. Brilliant, Lily.

I sit down against the wall and lean my head back, just trying to breathe. I have to find a way to get my head on straight. I can’t live my entire life like this, constantly on the verge of lust.

The door opens and I’m hit by another wave of delicious scent. It’s Miles. I don’t even have to think about it, I just know it.

I look up. Miles looks down at me, and I feel calmer and more turned on at the same time.

“Hey.” Miles smiles softly and comes to sit down next to me. He presses against my side, a line of reassuring warmth. “What’s up?”

I take a deep breath. It shakes as I exhale. Miles puts his hand over mine, interlocking our fingers, and squeezes gently.

“I feel like I’m going insane,” I whisper. “The way that my body just goes out of control… I feel… off balance. I want to take care of Ben. I love him. And I want to be a member of this family, a real member. But I don’t know how to do that when I feel like… some kind of sex-starved lunatic whenever I’m around you and your pack mates. It’s like I’m not in control anymore and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t know how to handle it.”

Miles puts his arm around me and lets me rest my head on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s natural. Everything’s so much more when you’re an Omega. You’re going to need time to adjust. All Omegas do. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Will it always be like this?”

“I think things will always be a little more intense than what you were used to before. But you’ll get used to it. Just like we all get used to life changes. Being an adult, bills, that kind of thing.” He grins at me, softly, and I let myself sink against him.

“I just want to get a handle on it.”

“You will. And if it takes some time, that’s fine. Nobody’s judging you, Lily. We just want to support you. Give you what you need. Come on.” He nudges me. “Where’s that fiery little redhead that goes up against Knox without batting an eye, huh?”

I grin. “You have such faith in me.”

“Of course I do. We all do. You’ve been taking care of yourself for years. You took care of your grandmother. You were homeless and you didn’t let it take you to your knees. We know you’re going to adjust to this and it’ll be fine. We just want to be there for you so that you don’t have to always do everything alone.”

I nod. I know that Miles believes in me, and just wants what’s best for me. I just wish that I could believe in myself and have that same level of confidence. “Thank you. For being here for me. Everyone at ORD is kind, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not the same. I know this would all be a lot harder if I didn’t have you guys.”

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