Page 78 of It's Just You

23

Finn

I was so fuckingnervous that I couldn’t even breathe.

Even though the sounds of the stupid action movie we were watching were loud, we were still lying in bed fully dressed. Even though our kisses had grown a little heated, we’d both backed off before we could get ourselves in trouble. It was one thing for his parents and brother to suspect what was going on behind this closed door.

It was another for them to know.

So we’d have to wait until everyone was in bed before we actually did anything, which only gave me time to get more and more anxious about what I planned to do. I was sick to my stomach about what I’d planned. I needed to do it, wanted to do it even. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and how much I trusted him.

And I did trust him, so much that I was actually going to let him see what no one — not even my parents — ever got to see.

The credits started, and Kane moved, rolling on top of me. “They’re in bed by now. What do I have to say to get you naked?” he teased.

I chuckled. For not having been interested in sex very much before, he was certainly eager enough to get to it now. It was a good thing, since I still wasn’t sure I could handle a relationship without the physical. Cuddles were great, but sometimes I needed a good fuck.

It wasn’t like I’d ever cheat — never ever — but it would be something I’d miss.

Thankfully, it didn’t look like I’d have to miss out on it.

“I want a quick shower first. Then I’ll be all yours.” I kissed him.

Kane flashed me a nervous little smile. “Okay. I’ll… be here.”

“I’ll be right back,” I promised. I hadn’t anticipated staying overnight, but I’d wanted to be ready just in case I gathered up the courage to do… this. I’d text my parents later to let them know I wouldn’t be home, but they were hardly my first concern. I was more concerned about spending all night with Kane in my arms.

I stalled a little in the shower, not sure if I wanted to do this. But I hadn’t brought my makeup bag in here, so this was it. Either I went out and let him see my face, or I never went out at all. I could run out and grab it and come back really quickly, but it would be too late.

So I had to be brave.

I stared at my scars and winced.

It was time for the truth. This was it.

I opened the door leading from the bathroom into his bedroom, wrapped in a towel. While I’d debated going with some sexy lingerie, I’d decided against it. This was about me being completely open to him, showing him my imperfections along with everything else.

Kane looked up at me, started to speak, then paused. He studied me for a moment, and my face flushed under the scrutiny. But he was out of bed before I could second guess my decision — much. I couldn’t even speak before his lips were on mine. He kissed me like he never had before, and I could feel it as he tried to reassure me through his body language alone.

He nudged me backwards until my back was against the wall, then pressed me against it and held me with his larger body. His tongue invaded my mouth, kissing me so deep I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it.

One of his hands slid down my back, and Kane boldly pushed the towel down from my waist and let it drop to the floor. It was only then that I realized he was mostly naked himself, down to just his boxers. His hands went to my ass cheeks, kneading them as he kissed me.

For a moment, we just stood there, kissing and touching, then he stepped back. Gently, he touched my chin, tipping my head up a little so he could see my face. I swallowed hard, terrified of what he might say after he’d had a close look at me.

“I know you might never see it this way, but you’re beautiful like this,” he murmured. “You’re even more beautiful like this than you are when you wear makeup, because this is the real you… the you that has nothing to hide. The one you are. And I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’d let me see all of you.” He kissed me again. “I hope you know you didn’t need to do this, but it’s the best gift you could ever give me.”

I blushed. I had expected his utter acceptance, but this was even better than what I’d thought he’d do or say. It was like he knew exactly what I needed to hear and gave it to me, willingly and fully, without the need to keep anything else between us.

I’d never thought it would be possible to find someone who just accepted me like I was, in makeup and lace or utterly scarred and fully naked. But I had. I’d found Kane, who was strong, and sexy, and smart, and one of the gentlest men I knew.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him, swallowing around the lump in my throat. “I can’t even express how grateful I am to you.”

“You don’t need to be grateful,” Kane said, kissing me softly. “I’m just telling you like it is, baby. You’re beautiful, inside and out.”

I kissed him this time, until we were both panting so hard we couldn’t even breathe.

“I love you,” he whispered, “for exactly who you are. Nothing else.”

I stared into his eyes, seeing the truth to his words, the love, the utter affection… and the promise of forever.

“I love you too.”

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