Page 59 of It's Just You

17

Finn

There were somany ways this afternoon could’ve gone wrong.

I’d almost acted on a few of them, but I’d managed to stay silent during the fight. I was furious with Sam. He’d not only looked away from his dad, but he’d run in the other direction just to avoid seeing the truth. I hadn’t liked it before, but knowing what I knew now, I wondered who the hell my friend was. How had he gotten that cold and uncaring, or was he really just that fucking oblivious? It wasn’t what he’d shown me when I hung out with him, so I didn’t want to think the worst of him, but the bottom line was that I was angry on behalf of Kane and his dad.

Then, of course, there had been the whole you’re with my brother thing. I didn’t get it. Well, a part of me did, because he might feel like Kane was trying to steal his friend. That was so fucking far from the truth that it wasn’t even in the same state. Hell, half the time I met up with Kane or even just texted him, Sam wasn’t around. I didn’t go to their house to hang out with Sam then ditch him to spend time with Kane.

So most of his behavior didn’t make sense to me, and I was just all around pissed at him. I might’ve made it worse if I’d spoken up, but Kane had had plenty to say, and I hadn’t wanted to do anything but offer support. All right, I’d wanted to, but I’d known it wasn’t the best thing to do.

I didn’t know how Sam was going to react now that Kane had read him the riot act, but I had to hope Sam was going to see that he’d been wrong.

I carefully wriggled free of Kane so I could get my phone from my pants pocket. I glanced at the clock, but it wasn’t like I needed to be anywhere. I’d rather stay here and hold Kane, and I pulled him back into my arms as I settled back down. He made a small noise but cuddled closer to me. Even though he was much larger than me, he was adorable. Right now, the size difference didn’t matter. He needed the closeness that I could gladly provide.

Holding him this way felt too right, way more intimate than my usual hookups when we did bother to do some post-sex cuddling. It had to be because I liked Kane — really, really liked Kane. And the knowledge that it wasn’t typical of Kane to fall into bed with people, especially men, still did stupid things to my heart. Yeah, it was stupid. Absolutely so.

I couldn’t help myself, though. I wanted him, not sexually — or rather, not only sexually, though I couldn’t wait to help him explore everything about being with another man — but also so I could get to know him more and understand how he thought and who he was. I wanted to know what made him happy and sad, what upset him and how to get him to smile more.

Fuck, I was already in this way too deeply, wasn’t I?

I didn’t want to wake Kane, and I was too well-rested to sleep, so I started reading on my phone.

Kane slept for almost two more hours before groaning and shifting, only to tense when his body pressed against mine. He opened his eyes, blinking blearily at me. “What?”

“You fell asleep after the hard day you had. I hope you don’t mind I stayed,” I told him.

Kane raised his head, looking at my shoulder, and I saw the lines from my t-shirt on his face. “I guess I held you hostage so you couldn’t have even left.”

I grinned at him. “I got up to get my phone, and you didn’t even budge. I stayed because I wanted to, so feel free to do that more, if it helped.”

He nodded. “I’m feeling much better, thanks. I guess I really needed the rest.” He sat up, ran a hand over his face, and gave a slight shake of his head like he was trying to sort out his thoughts. “So since you came back, can I lie down again?”

“Definitely.” Kane rested back against me, and I stroked his hair. I’d hold him much longer, as long as I needed to. Hell, and even if he didn’t need it but only wanted it. I loved it. It felt right, like he was meant to be here close to me, in my arms.

Fuck, what a scary thought.

“Thank you,” Kane murmured so quietly I almost couldn’t hear him.

“You’re welcome, but what exactly are you thanking me for?”

Kane hesitated a moment, then spoke only slightly louder, “For being here. With me. I don’t know how I’d have dealt with this if I’d had to do it alone.”

I kissed his forehead, then hugged him more tightly to me. “You don’t have to thank me for anything.”

We fell silent again. I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t know how to make this whole situation better. Sam would probably stay pissed for a while, and I was angry enough at him to where I wasn’t that concerned about it. They couldn’t do anything more about Kane’s dad right now, even though I wished they could. I’d done some reading on Lyme while Kane had been sleeping, and if they’d only caught it sooner… It was such a shitty disease.

“I really wish things would’ve been different.” Kane finally broke the silence.

“What do you mean?”

“That that Steve guy hadn’t used you.”

I couldn’t quite see his face, but I blinked at him. “I know, me too. But… What does that have to do with the whole situation?”

“I don’t know. It just… popped into my head?” That last part sounded like a question.

Now that was strange. “I mean, I wish it hadn’t happened either, but then I might not have been single when we met. Then where would we be?”

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