Page 56 of It's Just You

“I’m so sorry,” Finn said, touching the hand I hadn’t just used to wipe away my snot. “I can't imagine how hard it must’ve been for you.”

“Thank you.” I offered him a half-smile. “Yeah, it’s been… not the easiest. Seeing Dad like this has been hell, and having to move back home wasn’t the best either. It was like we both had to suffer, and neither of us wanted it. But we didn’t have a choice.”

“I can imagine.” Finn paused, then shook his head. “Well, no. I honestly can’t. I’ve never been in a situation like that, so I have no idea how it must’ve been for you.” He raised his hand to cup my cheek. “I’m proud of you for doing it, though. You did the right thing, you know? Even though you lost a lot, you did something important for your family. And I’m sure there will be ways karma will reward you for it.”

Somehow, I doubted it, but I didn’t want to tell Finn that. I’d simply lost hope in karma a long time ago.

Finn still held me in a tight embrace, something I badly needed. It had been nice to make out with him, but this was more, better, a comfort I’d craved for so long without even realizing it. Now that I had it, I didn’t want to let go.

New tears welled up in my eyes. Maybe it was the simple fact that a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders, and it was such a relief that I couldn’t help but cry. Just knowing what was wrong made it seem possible that things could improve. It had been a long time coming, but at least it didn’t all seem so out of reach.

Damn, what was wrong with me? I never cried, was never that emotional, and I started to pull away.

“Shh,” Finn said, stroking my hair. “I’ve got you. I’m here. Just let it out. You’ve been holding it in for years, haven’t you? Never talked to anyone, never confided in anyone, just kept it to yourself and doing the best you could.”

I hid my face against his shoulder and nodded, not daring to look at him.

“You don’t have to say anything. The fact that you’re not flat-out denying it says it all. Plus, I’ve gotten to know you. You don’t just tell people about your problems, even if you really need to get it out.”

I nodded. That had just been a short outburst, but now I felt drained — like I’d felt too much all at once, like I’d experienced too many emotions in too short of a time frame, and now, I was empty. The only thing currently holding me up was Finn’s embrace, and I didn’t want to imagine how much more of a mess I’d be without him.

I’d have dealt with it the way I always did, with keeping my mouth shut and forging ahead, but this was so much better. Nicer. Like I didn’t have to carry the weight all alone.

“Thank you,” I murmured without lifting my head. Fuck, he was going to have snot on his shirt.

“Nothing to thank me for, baby.”

I did look up then, meeting his eyes and ignoring the fact that I looked like shit. “You… didn’t just call me baby, did you?”

Finn chuckled. “No? I mean, is sweetie better? Love? Darling? Honey?”

I snorted, a completely messed up sound because I desperately needed to blow my nose and… everything. But Finn’s suggestions were just so off the mark. “Okay, pet names. I vote against everything that’s like… baby or sweetie.” I pulled him closer to me. “I, on the other hand, can totally see myself calling you those things.”

Finn looked up at me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling my head down so he could kiss me. “I’m good with you calling me whatever you want.”

My heart soared. That meant… He wanted to keep this up, wanted to stick around.

Wanted to have a relationship with me.

“Then we just need to find something for me, because while I have no problem with being demi and having a boyfriend who wears makeup and sexy, feminine clothes and is as out and proud as you… I will not be called baby. That’s just…” I wrinkled my nose. “Don’t be offended, but this is where I have to draw the line.”

I could only imagine what the guys at the gym would have to say if someone started calling me baby.

“So it’s okay for you to call me baby, but not for me to do the same?” Finn asked. I couldn’t read his face. Was he mad at me?

“I’m… I’m not sure. Tell me if I get it wrong, okay?” Maybe I was just being too macho about the whole thing.

“You know, I’m completely fine with it. I like baby, and yes, I admit it doesn’t suit you at all. I might settle for big guy or something. That would be gooooood, don’t you think?” He drew out the word, rubbing against my body like a cat in heat.

Damn, we were outside of my parents’ house, and we probably shouldn’t have been that obvious, but I needed him.

Still, what if Sam saw us? He might not take the two of us being together too well. It wasn’t any of his business, but that might not stop my little brother from exploding. I knew him way too well in that department.

Yet, I kissed Finn again, just because I could. Sam was nowhere around, so I was safe for now. The neighbors… Well, if they’d already been watching, they’d already gotten a show, and most of it had been miserable. “We should move that inside, to my room. Maybe tell Mom and Dad, if you want, or maybe we can wait until tomorrow after Dad has rested up. I just think sneaking around isn’t much fun, so we could… come out?”

Finn laughed. “Kane, I’ve been out since I grew out of diapers. You, on the other hand, might need to tell your parents. And maybe tell them about us, so you’re right in that department.”

I hugged him close, then drew him close into yet another kiss. For not having done much kissing before, I was finding that I freaking loved it — with Finn, anyway. It sort of felt like I needed to catch up now that I had someone I wanted to experience it with.

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