Page 52 of It's Just You

Within minutes, I had Dad ready and in his pajamas, then I made sure he got down to the living room without incident. “Thanks, Kane.”

“Don’t thank me, Dad. You know I don’t mind.” I smiled at him, as though it might convince him that I really didn’t mind.

“I know you don’t, but I still wish you didn’t have to do it. It’s a lot of pressure we’re putting on you, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Your mom and I wouldn’t know what to do without you,” he replied as he settled into his chair.

I placed a hand on his bony shoulder, wincing as I was reminded yet again of how much muscle he’d lost. “You won’t have to find out, so don’t worry about it. But… Just maybe tell Sam. He has the right to know, too, you know?”

“I worry he’ll want to stay at home, too. It’s bad enough you dropped out. I couldn’t deal with ruining both of my kids’ futures. It’s eating me alive that we have to do this to you as it is.”

The lump in my throat didn’t give me any warning before it popped up. I tried swallowing around it, but it was huge. It took me a few tries until I could speak again, and I had to clear my throat. My voice still wasn’t even close to steady when I finally managed to speak. “It’s okay, Dad. I know you’re sorry we all have to do this, but there’s no other way. We’ve talked about this. I know you’re not sick to be malicious or anything, and you know we tried looking for other options. It’s the way it is, and we just have to deal with it.” I paused. “Plus, I like working at the gym, so I’m not even sure I’d pick up college again.”

That was a blatant lie, but it would make him feel better, and I wanted nothing more than that. The situation was shitty for me, of course, but I was young and healthy. He wasn’t, so I wouldn’t ever have to tell him how much I regretted having to drop out.

“I know you’re lying, Kane. I’ve always known it.” He smiled at me, but his sadness couldn’t be hidden. “I appreciate it anyway. Thank you. You’re seriously the best son I could’ve wished for.”

He was in a strange mood this evening, and I didn’t even know what to tell him. I wanted to tell him it would be all right, but in the end, it probably didn’t even matter. Things were how they were, and we had to deal with it.

“Thanks, Dad.” I hugged him gently, closing my eyes a moment. Why couldn’t anyone figure out what the fuck was wrong with him?

“Thank you, Kane.” He smiled at me again, then picked up the TV remote as a clear sign our heart to heart was over. It was probably a good thing. Otherwise, my emotions would get the best of me, and I never wanted him to see me cry.

“Call me when you’re ready to go to sleep, okay?”

I slowly made my way into the kitchen, where I grabbed an apple, then headed back to my room. I poked my head in the door of my parents’ room, but Mom was already cleaning the bathroom behind us. I’d planned to do it, but she was faster.

With a sigh, I went back to my room, hoping against hope to find a text from Finn, at least taking away the decision of whether to text him or not.

My phone was dark when I picked it up, but as I swiped over the screen, I saw a had an unread text… and my heart went into overdrive. So much for not getting my hopes up.

I was so fucking fucked… and we hadn’t even gotten to that part yet.

Damn.

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