Page 12 of It's Just You

4

Kane

The manual was,as expected, boring.

So boring, in fact, that my mind kept going back to Finn. I didn’t know why I kept thinking about him, but the other night kept coming back to me. There’d been a part of me that had been so fucking aware of the fact that he wasn’t just a handsome man: he was beautiful as well.

I could tell he took time with his makeup, and the clothes he wore were more gender fluid than anything. If it hadn’t been for his voice, I might not have even realized he was a man at all.

That would’ve made things… awkward, to put it lightly.

I hadn’t been lying when I’d said I wasn’t gay, but I also hadn’t wanted to admit that my sexuality was an uncomfortable topic. I wasn’t sure if I really was straight, or if I was bi, or bi-curious, or a dozen other names for what I could possibly be. All I knew was that I’d never really been drawn to more than a few people that way, and both of them had been women. Figuring out where I fell on the GLBTQ spectrum wasn’t worth the aggravation of having to do research. Not thinking about my sexuality instead definitely won out.

Sex hadn’t been the sort of explosion I’d been expecting, either. I’d come, sure, but it aside from the physical release, it just wasn’t for me. I could get the same result from jerking off, without the hassle of a relationship or anything resembling one.

I didn’t need it, I didn’t miss it, and I sure as hell wasn’t interested in trying to have a relationship with anyone. Been there, done that, with no need to repeat. We’d lasted all of two weeks, with her wanting to fuck constantly and me making excuses not to fuck her.

She hadn’t appreciated that, and she’d had a few choice words to say about me that should’ve hurt my feelings. Instead, I’d just been relieved that she was leaving me.

But I wasn’t going back to that topic.

Finn, though… He was different. He’d interested me, and after breakfast that morning, he interested me a little more. Not that it mattered in any way. Keeping Dad’s condition from Sam while he was home was going to be hard enough, on top of helping to take care of him while I tried to remind Mom to take care of herself too.

It was hard, so fucking hard, and between home and work, I didn’t have the time to deal with a personal life, too.

So it was probably a good thing there weren’t many things to do in a town like this. The bonfire was usually the highlight of the weekend, and I wasn’t planning on going. I usually felt a little too old for the crowd, but this time, most of those visiting from college break would be there and I wouldn’t feel quite so ancient, should I decide to head over there.

I did feel a stab of envy, though. They got to go to college and do what they wanted, and they didn’t even know how lucky they were. They just got to do what was expected, and I was the dropout.

But then, I’d agreed to this, and I was never going to think of my parents as a burden. After everything they’d done for Sam and me… Never. They’d cared for us when we were small and helpless, and now I cared for them.

And through it all, Sam attended college, making them proud. I could see it in their eyes when he came home and told his stories, when he bragged about his GPA and left out the parts about the wild parties I just knew he was attending in his free time.

Usually, it would be easy to skip out on the bonfire. But this time… Sam and Finn would be there, too. It shouldn’t have mattered. I shouldn’t have been thinking about Finn. Again. He was just a guy, nothing more, and he’d be gone at the end of the summer anyway. He was nothing to worry about, nothing to think about.

I finally gave up on the manual, tossing it onto my desk. I’d have to learn about the machine later when my thoughts stopped drifting.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see another trainer standing at the door of my tiny office. “Hey, Pierce.”

“Isn’t this your day off?” he asked, leaning against the doorway.

I shrugged. “Needed to get out of the house for a little bit. I thought I’d read about the new machine that’s coming in.”

“You know we’ll all just be able to figure it out, right?” he said.

“Maybe even before people get hurt trying to figure it out on the fly,” I pointed out. “I’d rather be safe and bored than cause someone to get hurt. Even if that does mean reading this shit until my eyes bleed.”

“Well, you can give the rest of us a crash course,” Pierce said, straightening. “I have a client, but I’ll catch you Monday.”

I nodded. “I’m heading out anyway.”

He turned to go then paused, turning to face me again. “Hey, are you going to the bonfire tonight?”

“Why, you need a wingman for girls ten years younger than you?” I drawled, smirking at him.

He rolled his eyes at me. “I can flirt with the best of them, thank you very much. I was just curious. You never go to those things, but it’d be nice to see you there.”

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