Page 69 of Madden

Guilt coils in my stomach, but I shake myself out of those thoughts. How am I going to take the blame for not coming around when growing up, I was left alone all the time while he busted his ass working?

Why is it bad for me to have my own life when he’s been busy building his for so long?

“I’ve just been busy.” I sigh. “You know how it is, don’t you? You’ve raised me to be this strong, independent woman. It shouldn’t come as a surprise when I’m off focusing on my career and my relationships too.”

He clears his throat. I start to wonder if I shouldn’t have said anything at all, but it’s the truth.

“Is it because I’ve been pressuring you to come work for us at Granite? Am I pushing you away?”

It’s not often I see or hear this side of my father, but the crack in his voice tells me this is a question he’s been holding, as if fearing the truth.

I haven’t been forthcoming about what I’m doing for work, but this is one area where I refuse to hold back from him.

“Yes.”

He exhales a heavy breath, and I hear the familiar creaking sound of his chair as he moves to stand. I don’t doubt it’s to start pacing back and forth across his office.

“How would you feel if your dad looked down his nose at you for following your passion? What would you have done if he tried to convince you not to start Granite Industries?”

“He did.”

“Well, and… I think it’s safe to say you didn’t listen to him, did you? It didn’t stop you from following your own passions and dreams.”

He sighs. “I’m just trying to take care of you. I’ve built this company from the ground up, and I want to know when I step away, I’m leaving it in smart, capable hands.”

“You have Broderick and Brecken.”

“I always envisioned it being the three of you. You’re like your mother, the compassionate and sensible one. You always look at things from every angle and consider every possible thing that could go wrong.”

I want to tell him that it’s years of overthinking myself sick that have helped with this skill, but I don’t bother going down that road.

“I understand, but it’s your dream. It’s what you’ve wanted. I’m sorry, but it’s not mine.”

The silence that follows speaks loudly. I take another large drink of my wine, finishing off my glass.

“So writing, huh? That’s your dream? What you want to do?”

“You know, sometimes I still feel like I’m figuring it out, but I’m happy where I am and with what I’m doing.” This is my chance to tell him. “I started a job at Limelight magazine a month ago, and I’m letting life take me wherever it goes. It’s giving me a chance to tap back into photography again too.”

Growing up, I was in the class newspaper and helped with the school yearbook. Those were my first tastes of writing outside of short stories and poetry I had written, anything that would give me a creative outlet.

“You know, I don’t tell you this enough, but I’m proud of you for going after what you want and not giving in.”

“Dad…” My voice trails off.

“I know, I know, and I’m not just saying it now. I should’ve told you this a long time ago. I’m proud of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you enough.”

“You’re telling me now, and that’s all that matters.”

We get to talking about my job, and I share how my first assignment went interviewing A Rebels Havoc. I don’t notice how much time has passed, but eventually, I get up to start cooking myself dinner. I’m relieved some of the nervous energy I’ve been holding about this call seems to have released before we hang up.

He asks me to stop by to visit soon, and I make a promise to come out for family dinner one of the upcoming weekends. I still don’t know when I’ll see Madden again, if I’ll be flying out to him or if he’ll be able to make it here.

I don’t want to be away from him much longer either.

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