Page 19 of Jump

“And last week on the Coolidge fire, when you ordered Rizz up, but he went down…?”

“He was right,” I grit out. “I was wrong. He has experience in this town that I don’t, so when I thought his efforts would be best applied on the third floor, and he—correctly—believed otherwise, I admitted to my mistake and rewarded him for his initiative. Is that not how a lieutenant should lead?”

“Only if it’s consistent,” Rosa counters quietly. “You’re correct: Rizz was right on that fire. And you’re correct again: that was knowledge that only a long-time local could know. I commend your ability to adapt and learn, Ruiz. I think it’s admirable you can lead a team—and let them lead you when their experience exceeds yours. But you don’t get to pat the guys on the back, while reprimanding Patrick. It’s not acceptable.”

“She disobeyed a direct order!”

“She’s not Cootes.” He tosses his pen to the desk and pins me with a look, making my stomach flip, and sending a white noise buzzing in the back of my skull. “She’s not Ainsley. And neither woman was careless on the job or any less capable than their male counterparts.”

“Chief.” I thrust up from my chair and circle away. “Don’t go there.”

“You think you’re protecting Ivy by keeping her away from the heat?” he pushes on anyway. “Do you think she went through the academy and busted her ass, all so she can operate a ladder?”

“She’ll do the job her lieutenant orders her to do.” I stop behind my chair and grip the back in my hands. “Just like I order Sloane to drive, and Axel to enter first. We each have our roles. We’re a machine, and that machine falls apart when one cog isn’t doing what it’s supposed to.”

“We’re human beings,” he argues, almost sadly. “We’re not a machine, Ruiz. We’re a family. We’re a team who has each other’s backs. But right now, you’re treating one of them like the unwanted stepchild.”

“Chief—”

“You’re bullying a damn good firefighter, Ruiz. And I’m not gonna tolerate that in my house. Not only will your actions land your ass back in the forest and out of my fire station, but you’ll be the reason we lose a quality family member.”

My pulse thunders with panic. And pain. And grief. Longing. “Chief…”

“I won’t let you torpedo her career, no matter how well-intentioned you are. And I won’t let you bully your family, all because you wanna save someone who doesn’t want, nor need, saving. She got her bugle, just like the rest of us. Ivy worked herself to the bone to prove she’s worthy.” Setting his hands on his desk and pushing up to stand, he meets me on my level. “It’s not on you to undo all that effort because you wish that someone else—me,” he admits as an afterthought, “would’ve removed Ainsley from the job.”

“Chief, that’s not what I—”

“If I’d kept her outside that night, she’d still be alive. I wouldn’t. And neither would my kid. But Cootes would, and that’s all that matters, right?” His eyes, emerald-green and piercing in their intensity, pin me in place. “You’re grieving, Ruiz. And we’ve folded you into our family to ride the storm right alongside us. It’s what Cootes would want.”

“Don’t tell me what she’d want! Don’t speak for her.”

“I will,” he counters. “I knew her eons longer than you did, Matt. She had your heart. You knew her in ways I didn’t. I get that. But I knew her longer, so I’m gonna speak for her. I’m gonna tell you what I think she’d say about all this. And I’m saying, if anyone treated her the way you treat Ivy, or if she ever saw anyone treat a female company member the way you do Ivy, she’d light this place on fire and take you down. And make no mistake,” resting on one fist, he lifts his other hand and points at me, “I will do the same for my family. So this is your only warning. Get your head on straight and let her do the job she trained to do, or get back on your plane and dance with the fires in the forests. Because you won’t be welcome here.”

“So that’s it?” I bring my hand up and scrub it across my chin. “Her or me?”

He shakes his head, fast and firm movements. “It’s her and you. I want both of you here. Because you’ve both earned this. Let her do her job, Ruiz. And you do yours. Because I know, beneath the bullshit, the chip on your shoulder, the bad attitude and control freak tendencies, is a damn good company leader who will bring his team through anything.”

Hell if he’s not wrong. Fuck knows, he nailed it on the head and called me out. But I’ll be damned if I admit to being a bully. So I firm my lips and meet his stare with my own. “Consider me warned. Is that all, Chief?”

Disappointed, but done, he nods just once. “I’m done.”

“Good.” I turn on my heels and charge through the glass door, my heart stuttering when I find a fearful Ivy Patrick waiting at the end of the hall.

She’s probably waiting for me to slap back. To punish her.

But she’s right; I have been targeting her.

I never meant to bully. But I cannot in good conscience send her into an inferno and become responsible for handing a flag and helmet to a man who only wanted her to come home again.

Ivy licks her dry lips and takes a step closer, as though to meet me toe to toe and accept her punishment. But I continue around her and slam through the door at the back of the building.

Alone, I surge into the sunlight outside and gulp down lungfuls of air. Because I’m not done grieving yet. I’m not ready to be okay. And I’m definitely not ready to send Ivy into a burning building under my command.

Worst of all, I’m not done seeing another woman’s face in the back of my mind. Her perfect blue eyes, not the same as Ainsley’s. Her long, blonde hair and curvaceous body. Her witty banter, and her sweet flesh under my tongue.

For one night, Ana allowed me a place to escape. To experience something other than sorrow. For nine solid hours, she was a safe space where I got to be Matt again. No guilt. No worries. And no repercussions for our actions.

But that’s gone now, and all I’m left with is a memory. Her flavor on my tongue. And a silk mask I can neither touch, nor throw away.

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