Page 101 of Jump

I swallow my nerves and breathe a little easier when the German Shepherd sits back on its haunches. “Good boy.”

I don’t have treats for him. But I have kind words. And a hug. And a bed he can sleep on.

“Rest, Rocky.” I squeeze the fur at the back of his neck and wait for him to break eye contact with Matt. “Come on.” I smile and tug him around, ever so gently, until he clears the doorway and starts across the room.

Then I lead him back to the bed, and study Matt as he follows to my bedroom door. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be working.”

“Sure,” he rumbles. “But let’s go back to the dog thing.” He points a finger straight between Rocky’s eyes. “When did we adopt a dog?”

“Uh…” I remain by the bed. My heart hammering, and my feelings all tied up in a man who predicted he would forget my birthday. “I adopted him. Today.”

But I don’t announce the occasion. I don’t go so low as to seek attention passive-aggressively.

“He needs a safe home,” I explain instead. “And he’s still sore from surgery. No way was I going to put him back in the cage at Friendly Paws.”

“So you just… bring home a killing machine, and hope to be here to run interference, lest he bite my nuts off and eat them for breakfast?”

“Well…” He’s afraid, and that’s something that surprises me most of all. “You were supposed to be at work till seven.” Remembering the book I still hold in my hand, I toss it down on the bed beside Rocky and glance back up to meet Matt’s dark eyes. “I was here alone tonight, so I didn’t feel the need to put a beware of dog sign out front.” Frowning, then studying the man in front of me once more, the half turnouts he wears, and the ashes covering his skin, I flatten my lips. “Why are you here? You’re supposed to be on shift.”

But then a thought hits me. A devastating, body-aching, brain-bursting thought that makes my knees weak. “Is everyone okay? What happened?”

“I nearly lost my head tonight.” Swallowing, so I see the movement in his throat, Matt starts into my room with slow steps. His eyes are on me, but I don’t miss his half-attention on the dog. His nervous steps, and wary eyes. “I wasn’t gonna tell you,” he admits, coming to a stop just two feet away. I smell him. His cologne. His sweat. Fire. Smoke. “I even told Ivy not to tell you, because I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

My lips refuse to move. My mind refuses to form a thought I can verbalize.

“I tried to have her removed from my crew today, Viv. Officially. With paperwork and all the bullshit. Not because she deserves to be ostracized or to have a mark on her record. And not because she’s a substandard firefighter, because she’s not.”

“Then…” I narrow my eyes and scramble for sense. “Um… why?”

“Because she’s a woman,” he sighs. “Because I’m not healed from my past trauma. And because I might literally go insane if I lose someone else that matters in my life. But dammit, Viv. She repaid my asshole behavior by saving my life. Then she went and kicked ass on the fireground, like I always knew she could. She deserves to be on my crew more than I do.”

“More than y—? I don’t understand.”

“I have a place in that firehouse, only because of connections and rank. That’s not working hard for something, Viv. It’s right place, right time, and comes only with the added benefit of me being a guy. But Ivy…” he exhales. “She had to bust her ass to even get her foot in the door. She had to be the top in every class just to get a meet with Nix. She couldn’t just be good, or great. She had to be the best. And still, I called that not good enough.”

“So… you came home to talk to me about your current female firefighting colleague?”

On my fricken birthday!

He chuckles, as though he can read my thoughts. “I came home because I damn near died about an hour ago. I lived because of my colleague. Who just so happens to be a woman.”

“And she’s a hero to you now?” She’s Ainsley Cootes 2.0. The woman he loved, reincarnated. “You…” Stumped for anything intelligent to say, I move onto my heels and harrumph. “Okay.”

“She’s the woman whose career I would’ve tanked as a result of my own grief and trauma. A firefighter who is better than great, whose only downfall is the anatomy between her legs. And that’s not fair, Viv. My treatment has not been fair.”

“Okay. Well…” I draw a breath and fill my lungs to bursting. Then I exhale again and nod. “I’m glad you got that out of the way. You can make her work life more pleasant now. She’s earned it—especially if she saved your life tonight.”

“You deserve better, too.” He takes another step forward and takes my hand in his.

My breath stops dead in my chest, but Rocky’s grows faster. His growl is quiet, but constant. His only warning, given.

“It’s your birthday,” Matt groans. “And I fucked up this morning when I walked out without saying a damn thing.”

“It’s o—”

“It’s not okay. It’s absolutely not alright, and my only excuse, which is flimsy at best, is that I had things on my mind. I swear, I had this whole day planned. I bought your gifts already, and it was gonna be my hundred percent night. I had dinner planned, a movie. A book. I was going to eat you up in the shower and give a hundred percent there too, and then I would’ve taken you to bed and made damn sure to stroke your back all night long. I was setting up a future for us.”

He steps closer again, until the front of his boots touch my fuzz-covered toes. “A plan for Friendly Paws if you wanted it. Land, so you could have the animals close. And I emailed that chick author you like, because you had questions about her last book, and I wanted you to have the answers.”

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