Page 2 of Until Lydia

I can’t hide the shock on my face. She doesn’t understand the ramifications of all this. I wonder if Colton does.

“Lydia, we need to talk.” He makes his way to the door. “Don’t do anything foolish.”

“Foolish,” I yell. “You want to see foolish? Prenup.” The laugh that comes from me is full of venom and evil. I can’t help myself. “Don’t come home. She can keep you.” I wave my hand in disgust at her.

“He’s already got me.” She laughs, and it sounds like nails on a chalkboard.

When she holds her hand up to show me the large engagement ring on her finger, I’ve had enough. He wouldn’t get me an engagement ring because he said, “It’s better to earn a diamond after five years than be given one.” I fight the urge to yank it off her hand. I deserve that diamond. I delivered twins. I’ve put up with his rules and quirks for years now. But I hold my emotions in, like I’ve always done.

No more! I smile wide and tip my head to the side.

“Well, bless your heart. Maybe you should stay off your knees,” I say. She smiles at my words, not understanding the Southern dig, but Colton got it by the look of outrage on his face.

“Coltie likes it when I do that,” she says as I turn and walk away.

I can’t stay here a moment longer. I’m so angry the tears are about to flow, and those fuckers don’t get to see me break down.

“My attorney will be in touch,” I throw over my shoulder loud enough for other residents to hear.

He’s engaged to another woman. He spent our money on an engagement ring for her. It’s obvious they’ve been together for a while by the various pictures of them I managed to see in the condo. He couldn’t stand to kiss me the last six months, and it’s been even longer since we’ve had sex. I can’t remember the last time he told me he loved me. “Me too” is his usual response when I express my love for him. Did he ever love me?

The sob is getting ready to burst from my body as I step onto the elevator. I punch the button for the lobby and turn to face the closing doors. He didn’t bother to chase me down the hall. Of course, he didn’t.

I keep it together long enough to get an Uber. I don’t break until I’m on my way to the airport. I call Sydney, my best friend. I know by the time I land she will have everything taken care of for me. That’s what a ride or die friend would do for you. She would help me hide the bodies if I asked her.

CHAPTER1

LYDIA

TWO WEEKS LATER

As I stand in front of the mirror, I can already see this divorce is going to take its toll on me. I’ve lost enough weight that the khaki cargo pants I used to wear are too big on me. Maybe it’s because it’s been years since I wore them, but more than likely it’s because I can’t stomach food right now. The thought of it makes me want to hurl. I hear Colton’s words in my head over and over about how I’m not thin enough. Not tall enough. And always with the not pretty enough.

I look at my reflection, trying to forget the words. Colton had insisted I wear skirts all the time. Because of that, it interfered with me working with the animals, something I’ve really missed. But in the last two weeks, I’ve been letting the old me out. Khaki slacks were the first change. I’m showing some of my tattoos today, and I’ve been wearing my hair the way I want. Ponytail or messy bun.

Yes, I’m the head curator, but I still want to get my hands dirty and need to. I earned my doctorate in zoology for a reason. I’ve always wanted to work with animals, especially bears.

I lost so much of myself because of Colton. He wanted me to be a certain way, to always project that I was his wife, but he was holding me back from my own life. He didn’t allow me to wear jeans. Now there are two new pairs in the closet, waiting for me to try on, but I don’t have the nerve. He never raised a hand to me, but my attorneys still call me an abused spouse. He berated and belittled me with words, broke my spirit.

I slip the polo with the zoo logo on it over my black bra. My full breasts aren’t shrinking like the rest of me, nor are my rounded hips from carrying the twins. I can’t stand here too long looking into the mirror, or I’ll start comparing myself to Deedee. My phone rings from the bed, and I rush to grab it.

“Hello.” I put the phone on speaker mode so I can finish getting ready.

I had to get a new phone because he was blowing up the last one. Before I even reached the airport in Dallas, he had managed to cut me off from our bank accounts and credit cards. It’s a good thing I have a credit card he knows nothing about, or I would have been stuck there until I figured something else out. He then called the kids’ private school and informed them he would no longer pay their tuition. After that, he fired Krystal, my nanny, who I found out wasn’t even working for Colton or me. That’s a long story she still owes me, but it turns out my family’s company pays her bills. She’s not only a nanny but their security.

I should be more upset about my brother’s interference in my life, but maybe security is needed after Colton threatened Sydney last night. He’s demanded to see me and has been calling my work. Thanks to my attorneys, I have a restraining order, and now Sharon, Sydney’s mom, is getting one for her too.

“Hey, Munchie, how are you doing?” the deep voice says, and I can’t hide the smile or the tears that prick my eyes.

“Hello, D, I miss you.” I try to keep my voice controlled so he doesn’t know I’m going to cry.

I’ve called him enough times crying and upset the last couple of weeks. Without him, Sydney, or her mom, I don’t know where the kids and I would be. Even Krystal is staying in the farmhouse with us. Sharon let us hide out here. It’s the only place Colton doesn’t know about. It’s not that I’m keeping the kids away from him, but he’s been erratic and unpredictable since I found out about his affair. His voice mails and text messages started out with apologies and then quickly turned into threats. By the time my plane landed in Nashville, he’d washed his hands of me and the kids. That’s why last night’s situation doesn’t make since. He was yelling about the twins, demanding to see them, but he wants a paternity test to prove they’re his. His behavior is starting to scare me, and that’s why my attorneys want the kids to only have supervised visitation with him. They’ve suggested a neutral party be present, like Krystal or Sharon.

“Why don’t you come home, Munchie? Some time off and away could be good for all of you.” Darrell’s voice is calming to me, but it also makes me feel guilty. I’ve had very little contact with him in the last five years. Colton got so angry when Darrell chose someone else to head the Nashville office that he made me shut Darrell out. My father valued his employees and Darrell does the same, so he promoted from within. Colton didn’t work for the company, and honestly, he doesn’t have any experience in my family’s trade of import and export.

“I can’t right now. We are really busy at the zoo. Besides, I’m not going to let him chase me away from any more of my dreams. And I don’t want to lead him to you and your new family.” After years of being a bachelor, my brother finally got married, and now they are expecting. My brother is going to be a first-time father at almost fifty years old. His wife is younger than him, closer to my age.

“Munchie.” He sighs, and I plop onto the bed behind me.

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