Page 16 of Titan

He shook his head.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t need you to.”

He paced away, digging his hands into his pockets. He didn’t talk for a long moment. I tried not to fidget while I was waiting for him to start. I rested my hands on the sofa, and then immediately moved them to my lap.

How the fuck do I behave right now?

This was so far out of my comfort zone. I knew what to expect from clients. I came in, did my thing while they got off and then went on my way. There were other scenes I did with my colleagues, all of them centred around voyeurism, but they had to be booked in advance so we could organise everything. Performing was easy for me. His only wanting to talk made me feel like a fish out of water. It had never been something I did. My colleagues could be chatty with their clients, but me? I was strictly business. My past made it difficult for me to form friendships, let alone give someone the “girlfriend experience.” My clients knew not to make small talk other than explaining what they wanted me to do for their sessions. It worked for me and them.

“I don’t know where to start,” Gil said after several minutes had gone by.

“You could tell me about your week?”

He glanced at me, his eyes taking on an assessing look as if he was stripping me bare with them. My skin prickled all over. I rubbed my legs, trying to ward off the feeling. Why the hell was I so affected by him? I shouldn’t be attracted to this man… but I was.

“What do you know about my family?”

“Um, well, I know they’re like, you know, a mafia family.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the correct answer or not. It was common knowledge amongst the staff that Zayn and his brothers had been the sons of Gennaro Villetti, the mafia kingpin, who’d died not long ago. I’d never looked up anything further about their family because, in all honesty, it didn’t matter to me. I knew Zayn was a good man. He’d given me somewhere safe to work, so whatever his family did wasn’t really my business.

“Okay. Good… that’s good.”

He didn’t say anything further, making me wonder why he’d even asked. Gil rubbed his face and dropped his gaze to the floor. He took a breath, seeming to steel himself.

“Zayn gave me our father’s empire to run.” He met my eyes again. Pain radiated out of him, slamming into me like a ton of bricks. “And I don’t want to disappoint him, but I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

Six

Theia

When Gil turned up in this room to see me, the last thing I’d imagined dealing with was him confessing he had no idea what he was doing when it came to running his now-deceased father’s empire. I didn’t know exactly how his world worked, but I knew the eldest was expected to take over from the previous boss. So why had Zayn given it to his brother?

“Do you even want to run the mafia?” I asked, wondering if it was the right thing to say or not. Honestly, I didn’t know how to respond to his admission or why he was here in the first place. He said it was because he needed someone who could keep his confidence, but surely, he had other people in his life he could talk to about this… didn’t he?

Gil cocked his head to the side.

“It’s not a question of what I want. It’s what he needs me to do for our family, so I have to. That’s what it means to be a Villetti. To be part of thefamiglia. You do what the head of the family asks of you, no matter what. That’s whatPapátaught me. It’s the only life I know.”

I might not understand why he had to, or his family, but by fuck did I relate to the lack of choice he had in the matter. It reminded me of things best left in the past and made my skin itch. I rubbed my legs again, trying to dispel the sudden chill washing over me. I hated feeling out of control. Hated it so goddamn much.

Don’t think about it. Don’t do that to yourself. It’s in the past, remember? You’re safe. You’re perfectly safe here. No one can hurt you.

I didn’t notice Gil coming closer to me until his body was right in my eyeline. My eyes darted up, meeting his dark ones. He leaned closer to me, looking at my face like there was something wrong with it.

“You’ve gone pale.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but words failed me. The bluntness of his statement coupled with his closeness had me trying to catch my breath. I didn’t know what it was about this man, but I was definitely not immune to him by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, the urge to slide onto the floor and kneel at his feet was gnawing at me in the most disconcerting way. My hands wanted to reach out and touch him. To know what he looked like underneath his well-tailored clothes.

What the actual fuck?

I’d never felt that way about another person before. And it had certainly dispelled my past from my brain. How the fuck could I think about that when Gil was standing a foot away from me, staring at me like I was a puzzle he couldn’t figure out? I mean, of course, I’d been attracted to people before, but this visceral reaction I had to him was confounding me.

“Theia?”

“I… I’m fine,” I choked out, not wanting to concern him any more than I already was.

“You don’t look fine. Do you want me to get you some water? Is there any in the room?”

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