Page 62 of Titan

“I hope you didn’t find watching your work colleagues strange,” I said as I discreetly adjusted myself.

“No, it wasn’t weird.”

She gathered her clothes and put them back on, sliding her shorts up her thighs before buttoning them up. She set her hands down on either side of her body and looked down at the floor.

“So… um, did you want to talk or anything?”

Her voice was hesitant as if she didn’t know how to act. I had flipped things on their head. I could admit that, but I had no idea what to say either. I was pretty sure if I didn’t get out of there, I might blurt out things I wasn’t ready to admit yet. This whole experience had given me way too much to think about.

“I actually have to go.”

She turned her head and stared up at me with this sad yet confused look in her eyes.

“Oh… okay.”

I leaned down towards her, placing my hands on the sofa.

“We will talk soon, Theia, I promise.”

She let out a breath when I stroked her cheek again before straightening.

“Okay.”

Leaving her was so much harder than I expected it to be. I wanted to stay, but my brain was far too chaotic. It was making me anxious. I didn’t want to talk about something as important as this without a clear head. And I could admit I was scared of what I was feeling inside.

I felt like shit the moment I got home to my penthouse flat, almost like I was a stranger in my own skin.

The moment I’d been able to move out of the family home when Enzo finished school at eighteen, I did. I needed some separation between me and my father. Working with him and being at home with him had become too much, especially with his expectations.

My first instinct was to go straight to my bathroom, strip off and step into a steaming hot shower. I stood under the spray staring at the tiled wall, and all I could think about was her. The way she’d been so willing to do everything I said. How she’d moaned. The way she’d said my name.

My head dipped as my hand landed on the wall in front of me. I let out a breath, my body feeling hot all over and not just from the shower. It was the memories flooding my brain.

“Theia,” I whispered, wishing I hadn’t been such a fucking coward and ran away the moment I got overwhelmed by what happened.

I want her… fuck, I want her.

Irritation with myself and the lingering arousal had me wrapping my hand around my cock. I let out a harsh pant as I stroked it, wondering what the fuck was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I tell her the truth? It wasn’t fear that she didn’t feel the same way about me, but everything else. I didn’t know what to do with these feelings inside me. How to handle my own fucking emotions. I’d never had to. I avoided them, but I couldn’t do that when it came to Theia. She was far too important to me.

My hand moved faster, my grip tightening until it was almost punishing. A growl of frustration sounded from my throat. I didn’t want to be here in this shower, getting myself off in an angry torrent of emotions. I wanted to be with her. To touch her. To hold her against my bare skin and revel in the feel of hers. To abandon all my stupid thoughts and anxiety. I wanted to give in to the unending need tofuckher that had started the moment she’d slid her fingers inside herself for me.

Why did I run from you? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I do it to you? You deserve better from me, Theia.

Her name sounded over and over in my head. It wasn’t the one I wanted to hear. No, I needed her voice crying out my name. Again. And again. I could hear it forever and it would never be enough. I closed my eyes and let the images of her carry me under. My grip was bordering on painful, but I couldn’t stop now.

“Theia… fuck…” I groaned. “My good girl. My good little slut.”

I didn’t know why calling her that was arousing to me. Questioning it felt futile. It wasn’t as if I’d judged her when she told me she wanted to be degraded. I hadn’t expected to want to degrade her. If anything, I wanted to do more… but only if she was okay with it.

I let out a harsh breath as I erupted in my hand. It wasn’t cathartic or remotely rewarding, but it was a release I needed after all the pent-up arousal and desire from earlier. It didn’t feel good, though. Nothing about this did.

Cursing myself, I washed before getting out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I stood by the sink, placing my hands on either side and stared into the misted-up mirror. My reflection was distorted. I ran a hand through my wet hair, leaving it half sticking up.

“What is wrong with you?”

It felt like everything was fucking wrong at that moment. I wanted to fix this situation. All the shit going on with my family, the mafia and especially with Theia. The only one I could make right was her.

I got dressed and picked up my phone, shooting off a text to Remi.

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