Page 37 of Titan

Now Gil was here and my whole fucking being was consumed by this man all over again. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wanted to know him. To understand him. He wasn’t like anyone else I’d ever met. He didn’t want the things other men did from me.

“Take care of me?” he asked in a quiet voice laced with confusion.

I was fully aware Gil needed to be approached with caution and care. Remi made it clear he required his personal space, especially with people he didn’t know. I wasn’t a stranger any longer, at least not completely. Everything inside me screamed to soothe him somehow.

“Yes. I think you need me to take your mind off whatever is going on up there.”

He didn’t respond. A furrow appeared on his brow as he looked away. If only I could smooth it away with a simple touch.

Are you really going to go there, Theia? What about your own boundaries?

If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have ever considered crossing my no-contact boundary. And I probably shouldn’t be thinking about it now, considering how I felt about him. I couldn’t leave him like this, though. It felt wrong. He needed something to get his mind off whatever was bothering him. The fact he’d come to see me dance had to mean something, didn’t it?

“Gil… would it be okay if I held your hand?”

I watched him swallow hard at my words, but he didn’t look at me.

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“Would you be willing to try? We can stop if you feel uncomfortable.”

What about you? Are you going to feel uncomfortable?

I had no fucking clue, but holding hands was relatively simple, wasn’t it? I couldn’t think of any other way to comfort him.

“Why do you want to?”

“Do you want the honest truth?”

He nodded and stared down at his hands in his lap.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but you want me to provide you with a safe space to talk and give you friendship, right?”

I’d assumed he wanted a friend after he’d said he wanted to know me.

“Yes.”

“When my friends are distressed, I comfort them. I don’t think you’d want me to hug you, so I’m asking if you’d accept something smaller and less intrusive.”

Gil’s teeth scraped across his bottom lip as if he was contemplating my words.

“Doesn’t that violate your no-contact rule?” he asked after a long moment.

“I’m making an exception… just this once.”

Quite honestly, I’d make all the exceptions for you, Gil. I’d let you touch me everywhere, but you don’t want that, so I won’t admit it to you.

He shifted in his seat, then he slowly moved his hand until it sat next to him with his palm face up. His eyes were on it like he couldn’t quite believe he was saying yes to me touching him. I didn’t hesitate in gently placing my hand on top of his. His skin was warm. The contact sent tingles running up my arm, but I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I left my hand on his and waited to see his reaction.

Gil let out a shuddering breath and closed his eyes. He didn’t attempt to move away or even tell me to stop. His hand twitched when I laced our fingers together. He’d let me touch him and neither of us was running away. I was okay with this. I was jumping up and down on the inside. He felt good. It felt so fucking good.

“Does this feel okay?” I asked him, keeping my voice soft.

He didn’t open his eyes, but he inclined his head. His chin dropped to his chest, his shoulders slumping as if a weight he’d been carrying around had shifted. Feeling bold, I let go of his hand before turning and sitting cross-legged so I could face him. I cradled his hand with one of mine and used the other to stroke lines down his palm with the tips of my fingers. Gil let out another breath, but he didn’t move otherwise. He let me stroke his hand without a word.

“I have a big scene to prepare for tomorrow,” I told him, wanting to further distract him from his thoughts.

“You do?”

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