“I did.”
“I didn’t think you’d be interested in that.”
I gave her a shrug and looked away.
“I was curious. People come to watch you, so I wanted to see what that was like.”
I didn’t want to tell her it was so I could understand her better. I never knew how people would take the things I said. And I was feeling self-conscious after my involuntary reaction to her.
“You could have asked me to dance for you here, Gil. I would have.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. Getting a private show from her would feel too intimate. And now I knew how my body would react, there was no fucking way I wanted to draw attention to it.
“No. That’s… I don’t want that.”
I glanced at her. Theia didn’t look put out by me refusing, but I did wonder if she thought I was being rude.
“You’re very talented. I’ve never seen anyone move the way you do. It was an experience.”
It wasn’t a lie, but I wanted her to know it had nothing to do with me thinking she was bad at dancing. I was mesmerised by it.
“Well, thank you. I appreciate that.”
I gave her what I thought was a smile, but who the fuck knew. Why did I feel so weird about the whole thing? Being here with her gave me far too much anxiety, even though every other time I’d been around this woman, her presence had calmed me.
“Did something happen today?”
“Why do you ask?”
She shifted closer, her blue-grey eyes intent on my face.
“Isn’t that why you’re here? To talk to me about what’s going on?”
I swallowed.
“Or would you like me to distract you, Gil? Tell me what you need.”
I watched her lean towards me, placing her hand down on the leather sofa between us. She was much too close. My skin grew hot. I rubbed my arm. I didn’t know what I needed from her. Last time I’d wanted to talk, but today, after seeing her dance, I wasn’t sure if I could.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I need.” I waved at my head. “There’s too much… I can’t…”
Understanding formed on her features. She gave me a tentative smile, but thankfully didn’t move any closer.
“Then let me take care of you.”
Take care of me? What… what are you going to do?
Thirteen
Theia
Gil looked so afraid. His dark eyes were wide and unblinking. I didn’t know why he was acting so oddly today. He didn’t seem like himself. Sweat had formed along his brow like this whole situation was making him anxious. And it bothered me. This was meant to be a place he could feel safe. Where he could open up.
I didn’t want to press the subject of him watching me dance. He hadn’t wanted to talk about it. That much was clear by the way he’d reacted when I brought up giving him a private dance. I’d asked about his day to change the subject, but it only distressed him further. Now all I wanted to do was make that look in his eyes go away.
How can I make this better for you, Gil? I want to. I want to take care of you so fucking bad.
The days had passed slowly since the last time I’d seen him. I’d attempted to distract myself from those fucking notes I’d received by dancing every night on the podium at the club before I saw clients, having switched shifts with one of the other regulars. It was the only way I could escape the reminders and the fear they would come for me.