Page 29 of Titan

“I think I’m screwed.”

Remi looked over at me, her green eyes assessing my face for a moment.

“Why?”

“Well, he really does just want to talk.”

Her lips curved into a smile.

“That’s a bad thing?”

“No, it’s not. It’s weird, but it’s not bad.”

“Then why are you screwed?”

I curled my legs up underneath me and looked over the top of the sofa at the small dining table I had behind it.

“Have you seen him?”

“Um, yes.”

“No, I mean, have youseenhim? It’s not fair. No one should look that hot without having a warning label attached to their collar.”

For a moment Remi said nothing, then she shifted and let out a snort.

“You have a crush on Gil. Well, that complicates things.”

There was no point in disputing the fact. After what he’d told me about himself today, I felt confused and guilty at the same time.

“Oh no, it’s way more complicated than that. Fuck, I shouldn’t tell you this.”

“You know I’m not going to say anything. I’m already complicit in this shit as it is. What’s one more secret?”

I felt bad about Remi being forced to keep this a secret, but at the same time, she was the one who agreed to it with Gil. It hadn’t been my idea.

“I’m ridiculously attracted to him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, let alone a client.”

I picked up my can again and sipped at it. Admitting my feelings to someone was foreign to me, but Gil had well and truly ripped the rug out from underneath me tonight. I was floundering in the dark.

“It’s bad because heisa client, and we all have strict boundaries with them. You’re not supposed to have feelings.”

“True, but it’s not like you’re acting on them.”

She was right. I hadn’t. I’d merely thought about it. That wasn’t a crime. At least, it hadn’t felt like one until…

“Gil told me he’s demi. He literally doesn’t have any interest in me sexually, and I honestly don’t know what to do with that.”

I placed my can down again and buried my face in my hands. That was my real problem. The guilt I felt the moment he told me was all-consuming. Me thinking about him in a sexual way felt wrong when he couldn’t see me that way.

“He’s… oh… that explains a lot.”

I dropped my hands and looked at her.

“It does?”

“Yeah, Gil is totally oblivious to female attention. He really doesn’t like people touching him, at least people he doesn’t know. I’ve never seen him date anyone, and I’ve known the Villettis basically my whole life.”

I’d observed him not wanting to be in close proximity. He’d basically run away from me the second time we met. Fucking hell. Remi was right. His behaviour made so much sense now I knew about his sexuality. It didn’t make me feel any less shitty about lusting after him. It only made me feel so much worse.

---