Page 25 of Titan

“Yes,” she said, her voice coming out breathy as if the thought of being seen was something she desired above all else. I tucked that piece of information away to examine later.

“Is it not just a performance for you?”

Theia scrunched her face up and looked away.

“It is, and it isn’t.”

“In what way?”

Her hands rubbed at her dress, and she turned her face towards me again. A dark look fell over it.

“Why are you asking me this? Do you want to know if I fake it for clients? That going to make your decision of what service you want easier or something?”

Her words sounded pained and angry as if she was offended by my questions. Did she think I was judging her line of work? I didn’t have anything other than respect for what she did. I was merely curious about what drove her, what she enjoyed and why she chose to do this.

“No, I told you I’m not interested in that.”

She crossed her arms over her chest.

“You sure about that? You said you wanted to talk to me, but I don’t remember it including asking me invasive questions about myself.”

Well, shit, I think I’ve upset her.

How could I make this better? I didn’t want to hurt her or make her angry, but what if I kept saying the wrong thing? This was exactly why I didn’t make friends with people. They always took the things I said the wrong way and misconstrued my intentions. I didn’t know how to handle it. It was easier not to talk. No one would misunderstand me if I stayed silent.

I couldn’t take that way out here. Not if I wanted to learn more about her. Maybe if I was honest about my intentions, she would see I wasn’t trying to be insensitive.

“I want to know you.”

Incredulity crossed her features, making me take a small step back.

“To know me? Why on earth would you want that? I’m a sex worker, Gil. I get paid to fuck. That’s all anyone ever wants from me.”

Why on earth would people only want that from her? She was a person. Her work didn’t define her. Not in my eyes.

“I don’t want to have sex with you, Theia. I’m not attracted to you like that.”

She threw her hands up. Her eyes became ever more pained as if I’d hit a nerve.

“Oh well, thanks, that makes me feel so much better about myself.”

I put a hand out to her, realising what I’d said had come out the wrong way. It wasn’t my intention to come across as insulting. She was a beautiful woman. Me not being sexually attracted to her didn’t take away from that fact. It didn’t work like that for me.

“No, that’s not what I meant…” I took a breath and steeled myself. “Theia, I’m demi.”

She blinked, her expression turning confused.

“Demi?”

“Demisexual.”

I’d known since I was a teenager I was different, but it was only more recently I’d found a word to describe it.

“I don’t experience sexual attraction without having an emotional connection with someone. I never have.”

Theia took several steps back until she bumped into the wall behind her. Her hands went to it as if she needed to steady herself.

“Oh… I didn’t… that’s… oh… oh!”

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