Page 48 of What Did Your Last Maid Die Of?

Polly: Ended the chat.

“Ewww.” Natasha burst out laughing. “Some of these guys are nasty.”

“Right?” I laughed. “And don’t get me wrong. I hate waxing. I would love a guy that didn’t need me to be completely clean down there, but I do not need him being explicit about it.”

“Right?” Natasha laughed. “Some of these guys have no clue. I could make so much money training men on how to talk to women.”

“I wish you would. Because most of these men need a clue.”

“Any potentials?”

“There’s this one guy.” I showed her the photo of Mike, a man that taught high school history. “He moved here from New Jersey last summer.”

“Okay, he’s cute.” She nodded. “What has he said so far?”

“Nothing sexual, but nothing exciting, either.”

“Oh no.”

“He just keeps asking me about baseball teams and going on about how he was on his high school varsity team and nearly recruited by the White Sox.”

“Oh…why wasn’t he recruited?” she asked curiously.

“He was having sex in a parked car with his girlfriend and knocked the transmission out of park and the car crashed into a tree and he broke his arm.”

“He told you that?” Natasha’s eyebrows raised. “TMI.”

“Right? And then he said the girlfriend dumped him when she realized he wasn’t going to be making a lot of money.”

“That’s so sad.”

“But the slightly weird part is…” I paused dramatically.

“Tell me!”

“She moved to Tampa last year because she was going to grad school.”

“Okay?” She paused. “Wait, this was his high school gf, right? Or college gf?”

“High school!”

“Okay, and how old is he now?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Hmm, okay. So he knows she moved to Tampa how?”

“I guess they stayed friends on socials or something.”

“Weird, but okay.”

“Here’s the weirder part. He moved to Florida three months after her. He said he was hoping maybe they’d bump into each other and she’d realize what she’d given up.”

“Wait, what? After five years?” Natasha looked shocked. “Psycho. Girl, this guy is not for you.”

“Yeah, I was thinking to myself,Is this weird or not?”

“It’s not only weird, it is sociopathic, girl.” Natasha shook her head. “Trust me, I know men. He sounds crazy.”

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