Page 40 of What Did Your Last Maid Die Of?

“Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at something on her screen. “Let me guess, King Finn sent you a cute text message telling you how much he misses you, even though it’s only been thirty minutes since you left home.”

“Actually, no.” She shook her head. “I was watching a dog on a skateboard and he—”

“I don’t care.” I took a deep breath. “My boss and I had a moment today, and I need to find a boyfriend by Friday.”

“Say what?” Chelsea looked at Harriet in confusion, and I could tell that I had both of their full attentions now. “Explain what you mean when you say you had a moment?”

“I mean, we almost kissed…” I shrugged. That was a bit of an understatement. When Max had lifted me up and pressed me back into the wall, I had almost been willing to do anything. If he would have slipped my panties to the side and started touching me, I didn’t think I would have said no. Though I wasn’t going to tell my sisters that. “And I ended up telling him I had a boyfriend because I don’t need that drama at work.” I stared pointedly at Harriet. “I really don’t want to hook up with my boss.”

“What do you mean you need a boyfriend by Friday?” Harriet questioned me. “And before you ask, no, you cannot ask Finn to be your fake boyfriend.”

“As if I would want to.” I rolled my eyes. “Sorry to burst your bubble, Harriet, but we don’t all want to end up with a guy like Finn.”

“I just don’t know why you need a boyfriend on Friday?” Harriet ignored my diss.

“My boss asked me to bring my boyfriend to an office party on Friday, and I agreed.” I made a face. “But we all know I don’t have one, so I need to figure something out ASAP.”

“Oh, Polly.” Chelsea shook her head. “You have two options.”

“Yeah?” I asked her hopefully. “What?”

“You can pay an escort a couple hundred and—”

“Really?” I glared at her. “That is not an option.”

“Then get your ass on a dating app and start swiping.” She shrugged. “And take him to your office party.”

“As a first date?”

“You got any other options?”

“I guess not.” I sighed. “I was hoping one of you would come up with a brilliant idea.”

“I have an idea,” Harriet spoke up.

“Yeah?” I asked hopefully.

“What if you found an actor and told him that this could be research for a role?”

“Where am I going to find an actor?” Sometimes both of my sisters were just too ridiculous.

“Fine, then join a dating app.” Harriet shrugged. “Shall we make your profile now?”

“I guess.” I made a face. I’d been hoping that there was another way. But nope, I was going to have to trust a random stranger.

“Or just don’t go,” Chelsea said. “Pretend you’re sick or something.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I have to bring my hot, big-cock boyfriend to this party.”

“Big cock?” Harriet asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Nine inches, to be exact.” I shook my head. “Just don’t ask.”

“I wanna know what’s going on.” Chelsea giggled. “This is starting to sound juicy.”

“I told my boss my nine-inch cock boyfriend and I banged this morning.” I giggled at how ridiculous it sounded.

“And yet I was unprofessional?” Harriet shook her head. “What the hell is going on, Polly?”

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