Page 22 of What Did Your Last Maid Die Of?

“It wasn’t ten times longer,” I said, glaring at her. “Anyway,” I continued, “the loser had to kiss a random man in the bar of the other person’s choosing.”

Harriet’s jaw dropped, and she giggled. “Uh-oh, I can see where this is going.”

“Oh, trust me, you certainly cannot,” Chelsea said, laughing. “Even I would not have been able to predict how epic it was.”

“It was not epic,” I said. “It was absolutely disgusting.”

“What was disgusting?” Finn said as he walked into the dining room area. “I’m waiting for you girls back in the kitchen.”

“We were just talking,” Harriet said as she walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Chelsea bet Harriet that she could stay on a mechanical bull longer than her, and she did, and she made Polly kiss some guy.”

“Oh?” Finn looked bemused. “And?”

“And it was some nasty old biker dude with tattoos everywhere who basically wanted to…” I paused. “Sleep with me.”

“Oh yeah, he did,” Chelsea said, giggling. “He practically bounced you up and down on his lap like you were on a merry-go-round ride at the theme park.”

I just stared at her. Then I looked at Finn. “Finn, I hate my sisters. Will you help me find a new family?”

“If you want,” he said, chuckling.

“What happened?” Harriet said. “All these theatrics, and we still don’t know what happened.”

“So I went in for the kiss. It was just meant to be a quick peck because that’s all the bet asked for,” I said. “The next thing I know, this guy’s trying to slip me the tongue.”

“Instead, he slipped her something else,” Chelsea said, laughing.

“Oh my god.” Harriet’s jaw dropped. “He didn’t penetrate you, did he?”

“What?” I stared at her, confused.

“I mean, you’re wearing a skirt and…”

“Oh, no, no. That’s disgusting.” I glared at her.

“Hey, I’m just trying to figure out what happened. You’re going on and on like it’s the worst thing.”

“He slipped his gum into my mouth, his already chewed gum, and it was nasty.”

“Oh, that’s gross,” Harriet said, looking like she wanted to gag.

“Well, I can say I wouldn’t want that to happen,” Finn said with a nod. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, well, it was disgusting, and I’m never, ever, ever going to forget this. You hear me, Chelsea? Never.”

“Hey, I didn’t tell the guy to slip you his gum,” she said, laughing. “But hey, at least you got some action. You’ve been pretty lonely for a while.”

“I’d rather stay lonely than have that shit happen,” I said. “And to top it off, I met a bunch of weirdos at the law firms today.”

“Oh?” Harriet said, looking up at Finn, who just smiled.

“I know what you’re going to say. You can help me meet someone, but I wanted to do it by myself. I didn’t know that half of the attorneys in Port Sunshine were going to be weird or rude,” I said, thinking about Max.

“Yeah, well, this is Port Sunshine,” Harriet said. “Come on, let’s get you a stiff drink.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“And my offer still stands,” Finn said as we walked toward the kitchen. “I know an attorney, his name is Travis, and he does some work for me, and I know he’d be willing to hire you. In fact, they have a new intern class starting next week.”

---