Page 55 of Reckless Impulse

Taking a screenshot of the itinerary, I reply to Eli’s unanswered text, and he responds almost immediately.

Hotshot

Please tell me this isn’t some sort of mean joke? Are you really coming?

Me

Cross my heart! Flights booked. No going back now.

Hotshot

Best news I’ve heard in months… honestly.

Me

I’ll have the Country classics on speed dial for Addison, and a bag of yogurt melts in my purse for Sophie.

Hotshot

You’ll be their new best friend.

Hotshot

But I had you first.

Me

Technically Sloan did=]

Hotshot

Semantics

Hotshot

I miss you, Queenie… thank you for agreeing to come.

Me

I miss you too. See you in three weeks.

Hotshot

It can’t come fast enough. Night, Beautiful.

But I had you first.

His statement bounces around in my head. He may not have been my first best friend, but he was the first and only person to own every part of me.

The last year without him has been the worst of my life. It’s not that he isn’t still a part of my world, but nowhere near the degree he used to be. Every piece of my heart and soul are still very much in love with Eli. I haven’t moved on… I’m not sure I ever will.

The chemistry and soul-shattering passion we have for one another doesn’t just dissipate with distance. I may have taken a step back to protect myself, but the heart beating inside of my chest never got the memo. Moving on feels like an utter betrayal–not only to Eli, but to myself as well. I haven’t so much as even entertained another man.

As I lay my head down to sleep that night… I make a vow to make the best out of our Florida trip and open myself up to this new friendship Eli and I are building.

Seventeen

You know what really feels like a punch to the nuts? When the woman you’re absolutely head-over-heels obsessed with is more like a mother to my daughters than their own.

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